Diane Keaton showed up on Ellen to talk about her next movie, The Big Wedding — but really, she just got giggly drunk and talked about tantric sex. Let's party, Keaton.

On tantric sex:

The definition is something like when you have tantric sex you go for a long time and you have that thing called the orgasm for nine hours. For nine hours! That's ridiculous! That drives me crazy when I think about it. I'm glad this movie's over. It's too weird. Sorry, I've gotta calm down.

On working with De Niro:

I love kissing him. You know that I, I enjoy the kissing of the men... I kissed him. And I put my head. On his chest. While his chest did not have clothes on.

When she says she's been in a three movies about marriage — but has never been married herself — Ellen says it must be her choice. However, Diane is all, NOPE. "I'd like to get married. Oh, very badly. [But] nobody ever asked me." I'll marry you, Diane Keaton!

[via Cosmo]