Downton Abbey Will Be Back for a Fifth Season

Downton Abbey is back for a fifth season?! But there’s a war o — ah, fuck it. I gave up on this show in the middle of season three once I realized my from-the-couch rabble-rousing was both ineffective and disruptive to the people I was watching with.

(Seriously, though: When will the Downton staff realize that this system of aristocracy does not serve them? Skip ahead to 1945 and get onboard with the Labour Party already! We’ve read Remains of the Day. We know how this goes. DOWNTON RUNS ON YOUR SWEAT. BRING DOWNTON TO ITS KNEES.)

Anyhoo, a fifth season means more glittering jazz age! More of the Dowager Countess’ bon mots! More Mistah Beeeeh-ates and Carson and dinners where everyone gets six forks! More threats of losing Downton! More beautiful costumes and landscapes! Delightful! Positively delightful! But also boring. But also delightful. Who cares, champagne for everyone!