Do You Have What It Takes to Be the Tour Assistant For a Traveling Cat Circus?

I know it’s Friday and that you’re probably too excited about the weekend to do something as mentally exhausting as re-thinking what remains of your life path, but I have a few questions to ask. 1. Do you like cats? Yes? OK. 2. Do you like having fun? Great. 3. Do you want a new job? If you’re unsure about that one, let me elaborate: Do you want a new job as the tour assistant for a traveling cat circus?

If your ears perked up after reading that, sit down and let me dangle this job listing in front of you:

Samantha Martin and the Acro-Cats are looking for a tour assistant to travel cross-country with a troupe of trained cats (plus a groundhog, a chicken and a few rats) as they purr-form at venues in cities across the United States.

The job requirements—beyond not being allergic to cats—include animal care experience, an outgoing personality, and being able to lift up to 50 lbs. They also suggest a background in theatre, probably because there’s nothing more dramatic than cats, “a groundhog, a chicken and a few rats” performing stunts in front of a live audience.

Samantha Martin and the Acro-Cats are accepting “serious inquiries only,” which probably means only 80-85% of you/the Jezebel staff will be emailing resumes. Good luck to us all!