Deceitful Makeup Company May Have To Pay For Its LIES

There is no betrayal worse than that of a 24-hour foundation that purports to give you “lasting perfection” and then fades, leaving your spirits as abject and haggard as your no longer makeup-besmeared visage.

Thus argues Rorie Weisberg, an Orthodox Jewish woman who is suing makeup giant Lancome for false advertisement. Apparently, its alleged “24-hour” foundation is incapable of getting her through the Sabbath — according to Jewish law, women are forbidden from applying makeup from sundown on Friday until nighttime on Saturday (applying makeup qualifies as “creative work,” something women must refrain from doing during this period).

The foundation, which is the key to looking good and staying holy at the same time, does NOT last for 24 hours and even has the audacity to “fade significantly” during the night. According to Weisberg’s suit:

Specifically, plaintiff’s eldest son is having his bar mitzvah celebration in June and plaintiff was looking for a long-lasting foundation that would achieve the foregoing dual objectives over the bar mitzvah Sabbath.

The indignity of going to a bar mitzvah, an event most likely teeming with cameras and possibly even one of those cool photo booths with a tropical background, would be severe. Accordingly, Weisberg’s federal-court filing accuses Lancome of engaging in “deceptive acts and practices” and seeks unspecified damages from Lancome on behalf of every woman taken in by the ephemeral skin-paint’s lies.

It’s also asking for a “corrective advertising campaign,” which I’d be happy to pitch some ideas for. My first is Lancome representative Emma Watson staring into the camera and sobbing, her tears leaving no tracks at all in her dull and barely discernible foundation, all the while whispering, “I am so, so sorry.”