Dear God, Someone Invented a Comic Sans Typewriter

When I saw this video, my first reaction was “HOW MUCH? TAKE MY MONEY!!!! I MUST HAVE ONE.” I have no idea where that came from.

Created by a mad genius named James England and dubbed the “Sincerity Machine,” (which he promises is not a viral marketing campaign, so OK), the device types all your most important correspondence angry letters to Parade magazine in the world’s most hated font, Comic Sans. The Daily Dot declared it a “senseless crime against good taste” because they are scarred by the trauma of dozens and dozens of emails from older relatives who use giant all-caps bold faced comic sans fonts in pink, green and yellow to announce every mundane detail of their lives. (“WE FINALLY GOT SHOWTIME! NURSE JACKIE IS GOOD.” “YOUR FATHER PUT UP A NEW MAILBOX. IT LOOKS GREAT. ELLEN FROM NEXT DOOR REALLY LIKES IT! YOU SHOULD VISIT!”)

But wait! Don’t discount the usefulness of this product just yet. Have you considered all the many important things you could do with it? It would be perfect for leaving passive-aggressive notes on the office break room refrigerator to your co-workers warning them about old food. What about writing long, overly-detailed fan letters to Doge? This would be perfect! I sit back and eagerly await the Wingdings typewriter.