Dating App Founder Says Women Are Like Dogs, They Need to Be Bribed

Carrot Dating App lets men bribe “dates” out of women. One of the examples they give? Say you need a tank of gas. Go out with his rich guy and in return, he will buy you a tank of gas! Um, guys, I have no problem with that, but I’m pretty sure it’s not called dating.

“When I was younger, I realized that a nerdy smile and a sweet personality isn’t enough to attract beautiful women. Rejection was not only embarrassing, but also painful,” says Brandon Wade, Founder of the Carrot Dating app. “Then, I realized that women love presents like dogs love treats. Just as an unfriendly dog wouldn’t deny a tasty treat, any beautiful girl can be bribed into giving you a first date.”

The idea behind this is that men whose defining quality is they have some money want to date women whose defining quality is that they’re attractive and for this match to work, there has to be a financial exchange. I’m not sure how this is different than a seeking arrangements site, except that there’s no guarantee of anything sexual. Or perhaps I’m naive? Is saying you’ll give a woman a bouquet of flowers actually code for wanting a new, more complicated type of blow job? An upside down blow job? WHAT NOW? Or do we have to wait for Carrot Dating App 2.0 for that?

“Who says nice guys have to finish last?” says Wade. “Carrot Dating brings romance back into the dating game by encouraging men to never go to a first date empty-handed. And in return, women will always give nice guys a chance.” Nothing better than a nice guy — ladies, am I right?