Cover Your Pet's Unsightly Butthole With These Adorable Accessories

Rear Gear’s simple and evocative tagline—”No more Mr. Brown Eye”—will give you a good idea of what the Etsy store does, but if you need help, let me explain it to you: The store sells anus covers for cats and dogs which are used to draw attention away from the poop chute with colorful tail-hangers proclaiming your dog “sheriff” or proudly ass-vertistng your business with a custom-made corporate logo.*

The Daily Dot first broke news of these amazing (and very affordable) covers, which are not for everyday use but for special occasions only, as per the covers’ description:

Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I’ve got them covered… Rear Gear is handmade in Portland, OR and offers a cheerful solution to be-rid your favorite pet’s un-manicured back side.

Rear Gear comes in many designs including a disco ball, heart, flower, biohazard, smiley face, number one ribbon, cupcake, sheriff’s badge, dice, and you can even make yours custom, so there’s a Rear Gear for everyone.

Get yours today here at etsy or write me an email and support small business! Please contact me if you’d like multiples… Make sure to note which style you’d like in the shipping notes and enjoy!

REAR GEAR IS A NOVELTY PRODUCT NOT INTENDED FOR EVERYDAY USE

First question: Who else is surprised that these are made in Portland, land of artisanal mustaches and home-grown yak cheese? Also, why is this on Etsy’s Australian site? Does listing them there instead of at North American Etsy make them more kitsch and vintage-inspired?

Second question: Is there one with a bird on it?

Third question: Where does one come up with such an idea and also why are these not scented? It feels lazy not to take these covers to their natural conclusion, Rear Gear.

Only five bucks, though. Can’t beat that!

*I asked if I could get some Jezebel covers for my guinea pigs but was told that I would not be allowed to expense this because I guess guinea pigs don’t deserve any dignity.