Couples Tattoos Are The World's Most Poorly Thought Out Trend

Just as getting a neck tattoo is a double-down bet that you’ll never be hired for a faculty position at Liberty University (or, uh, a client-facing position at a bank), so too is getting a couples tattoo a bet that you and your smoochie woochy will never break up. Good luck with that.

Obvious future embarrassment potential aside, some tattoos are so bad that they’re even bad when the couple hasn’t even broken up yet. The sometimes-infuriating, always-entertaining Daily Mail has a rundown of some regrettable couples tattoos that serve as a helpful reminder that you can’t spell “stink” without “ink.”

Like the knuckle tats that only spell words out when the couple’s hands are entwined just so. The continuous heart shape that only looks like anything besides nonsensical lines unless the couple is hugging and shirtless. Keys & puzzle pieces & tattoos that finish each other’s sentences, oh my!

Guys, why? Why? This seems like such a bad idea.

I can appreciate well-done ink and I completely respect the work of artists who put a lot of creativity and skill into their work, it’s just that so many tattoos are so… bad. I’m an untatted woman living in East Williamsburg, Brooklyn (the ancestral home of the ill-advised shin tattoo) and there are days that the train ride back to my apartment feels like an open casting call for Vice magazine SPECIAL ALL-DON’T EDITION of Do’s and Don’ts. Children, why? Why do you cover your skin with foolishness? Most single-person tattoos are bad enough without adding the possibility of a future heartbreak souvenir into the equation.

The only thing more unfortunately permanent than getting a tattoo that matches your significant other’s is contracting a matching case of couple’s herpes or having a child. And I wouldn’t advise doing anything that rash.