Chris Christie Probably Got Lap-Band Surgery So You'll Vote For Him

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie got lap-band surgery because he cares about his wife and kids and not because he has presidential aspirations and America would (hypocritically) never vote for a fat guy, no way, nope.

“I’ve struggled with this issue for 20 years,” Christie told the New York Post. “For me, this is about turning 50 and looking at my children and wanting to be there for them.”

Christie said his family and friends convinced him to get the operation after turning 50 last September. "Sources" say he's already lost over 40 pounds, which must be a relief since Christie has struggled with his weight for decades and is often the brunt of jokes — in the 2009 governor’s race, Democratic incumbent Jon Corzine’s campaign ran TV ads with purposefully unflattering videos of Christie.


“This means he’s running for president. He’s showing people he can get his weight in control. It was the one thing holding him back,” a top political donor told the Post.

Not according to Christie! He just wants to be there for his loved ones.

“I know it sounds crazy to say that running for president is minor, but in the grand scheme of things, it was looking at Mary Pat and the kids and going, ‘I have to do this for them, even if I don’t give a crap about myself,’ ” he said.

Wow, a family man and a skinny guy — what more could Republicans ask for?