Cat Runs for Mayor of Mexican Town, Will Definitely Win Internet Vote

What do we want? Change! When do we want it? Meow!

Yet another cat is trying to get into government. Hot on the tail of Tuxedo Stan, the cat who ran for mayor of Halifax last year, Morris, a black and white kitty with a passion for politics, is running for mayor of Xalapa, Mexico under the slogan “Xalapa Without Rats.”

“Candidates here almost never fulfill their promises,” says Jair Cuevas, one of Morris’ campaign managers. “Our candidate promises to sleep, eat, yawn and play in the dirt and that is what he will do if he wins the election.”

Get it? Because that’s all human politicians do. This is all just one big joke meant to mock the system. The “rats” that Morris is going after are actually the local government officials.

Uh, ex-squeeze me, but when are people going to start taking cat politics seriously? Like, I realize this is a way of making a statement on the corrupt state of affairs, but what if Morris gets elected*? Has anyone even looked at his actual policies which include, among other things, spraying pee all over your couch and waking you up every morning by meowing loudly in your face? What about his opinion in the “cats rule, dogs drool” debate? Surely, that type of bigoted, biological racism is cause for concern. (And while we’re at it, have you noticed how all of the cat candidates running for mayor are men? What’s up with that?)

I hope Morris gave all of you good laugh, but we’ll see who’s laughing once all of our jobs have been exported to that island in Japan that’s overrun by feral cats.