Car Dealership Attempts 'Dick in a Box' Parody, Fails Spectacularly

A car dealership in Oak Lawn, Illinois has made the absolute most batshit crazy viral video and of course it’s a spoof of “Dick in a Box.” You will either love this video more than any other video spoof ever or you will cry to the angels to free visions of it from your brain. Enjoy!

The makers of “Keys in a Box” (heh) are proudly announcing to all of their mom’s friends on Facebook everyone that this is “single greatest video ever produced by a car dealership.” That’s really not saying much. This is a hot mess and not the fun kind of hot mess you can’t stop watching, like a drunk Nathan Lane on karaoke night. This is a hot mess like your Aunt Glynn who drinks too much and lives in a yurt in her ex-husband’s backyard. You wince every time you see it and you pray every night that it finally gets the help it so desperately needs.

Uproxx tried to explain why this was just a terrible, terrible idea but Internet snark cannot suitably convey to you how utterly goddamn awful this thing is. The genius who came up with this video is Oak Lawn Toyota’s Internet Sales Manager, Joe Mallet, who Edmunds.com described as “a young guy who has a young guy’s fondness for pop culture and social media.” I’m not sure I’m more embarrassed for in that description—Mallet or the writer who wrote that.

Oak Lawn Toyota is tying in a “keys in a box” marketing program and prominently displays the music video on the dealership home page. “We were brainstorming some ideas for holiday marketing,” Mallet told Edmunds.

He and marketing consultant Joe Webb agreed on the brilliance of making this music video, which riffs off a satirical song made popular by Justin Timberlake. Webb thought of it first and “mentioned this idea to some other dealers, but they didn’t know how to go about getting it produced,” Mallet said.

These next paragraphs might be the greatest thing ever written in the English language:

Fortunately, Mallet recruited some friends to keep from making it the kind of video that “makes you cringe.” Mallet wrote the lyrics and performs in the video — he’s the guy with the short hair and the pink shirt — and he somehow got a friend, high school English teacher Parker Gadbois, to co-star.

“His students think he’s the coolest guy,” Mallet said.

I bet they do. Hey what are you guys doing? Heading to Mr. Gadois class—he’s the coolest guy! Mallet also recruited some “buddies,” including musician Rico Vigil and his “associate,” Augie Rampolla. ( ¯_(ツ)_/¯ )

So off they went, a group of untamed dreamers—Mallet, Rico, Augie and cool Mr. G—making the best video ever made by a car dealership. Together they accomplished a truly miraculous thing—they made people miss Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg. Send this video to every relative you hate (the ones who flood your inbox with chain emails or spam your Facebook page with religious-themed Ermahgerd memes).