Captain May Have Crashed the Costa Concordia to Impress His Mistress

When bumbling dickhead Captain Francesco Schettino ran the massive cruise ship Costa Concordia aground in 2012—killing 32 people—he apparently had his girlfriend with him on the bridge. Moldovan dancer Domnica Cemortan testified that she was Schettino's "lover," she was on board without a ticket, and that when the ship hit the rocks, the captain told her to "save herself."

Via BBC News:

Ms Cemortan has been the subject of intense media interest, says the BBC's Alan Johnston in Rome. On the night the Costa Concordia ran aground, she had dinner with the captain before he invited her to join him on the bridge as he oversaw what was meant to be a close sail-past of the little Tuscan island of Giglio.

...The captain has acknowledged fault in the tragedy, but his defence team is arguing the ship sank in part because watertight doors did not function on the ship.

He also told the court in late September that his Indonesian helmsman was to blame for steering the ship onto rocks and ignoring orders to slow down.

Following this revelation, press are now speculating that Schettino may have crashed the Costa Concordia while trying to impress Cemortan. I'm imagining it went a little something like this: "Yeah, baby, I know a little bit about maneuvering a giant vessel.* Let me show you how I steer my ship. Ineptly, with major loss of life, and if anything goes wrong it's an Indonesian's fault."

*(PENIS)

Images via Getty.