(Butt) Cracking Down: New Jersey Town to Ban Sagging Pants

“I’m not one of the Fruit of the Loom underwear inspectors; I’m not one of the grapes. I don’t want to see it,” said Wildwood, New Jersey mayor Ernest Troiano Jr.

“When you have good families who call you up and say, ‘I’ve been coming here 20 years, 30 years, 40 years and I’m not going to any longer because I’m not going to subject my children or my parents or grandparents to seeing some kid walk down the boardwalk with their butt hanging out,’ you have to do something,” said the mayor.

The law would set fines at $25-$100 for the first offense for anyone with pants sagging more than 3 inches below the hips. A second offense would result in a $200 fine. It’s expected to pass tomorrow, unless the half-dressed youth of the town stumble into the council meeting to “Donna Martin Graduates!” this thing. Which is obviously what we’re all hoping for. I know I’ll be wearing my pants at half-ass in solidarity with their struggle.