'Bumpie' Is the Pregnancy Bump-Selfie Combo of Your Nightmares

It’s hard to blame a lady for wanting to document her pregnancy. Growing a new person inside your tummy is probably one of the most insane-yet-somehow-natural things a woman can do, so it’s understandable if she wants to snap some pics throughout the process. The only time she should ever be judged is if she refers to her pregnancy photos as a “bumpies” (“bump” + “selfie”) — in that case, she should be put in social media jail for life.

Infuriatingly, there are people out there who are trying to make “bumpie” happen. They’re forcing it on poor, (un)expecting mothers through phone apps that actually encourage the use of this abominable portmanteau.

From Baby Center:

It’s a big day at BabyCenter! We’ve been anticipating something truly special and we finally get to share it with you. We just know you’re going to love it. Today we are introducing BUMPIE, a new photo-journaling tool to document your growing baby belly! BUMPIE helps pregnant women capture consistent selfies of their growing bellies using a Smartphone camera and the My Pregnancy Today App.

The way BUMPIE helps “pregnant women capture consistent selfies” is by routinely reminding them that they have cameras on their smartphones. I’m assuming that most pregnant women are already aware of this because they’re knocked up, not stupid, but Baby Center feels otherwise.

Other BUMPIE features:

Custom camera overlay: Allows expectant moms to easily line up their belly shots so they’re consistent over time. This is the best way to capture changes in growth week after week.

Gallery: After a Bumpie is taken, it’s added to a private gallery within the My Pregnancy Today app where moms-to-be can review and share their pictures. Expectant moms can also swipe left or right to browse through their pictures, providing a fun way to see their week-by-week progress.

Log on to the Facebook of anyone in their 30s and I think you’ll find that moms-to-be are doing a totally fine job of tracking their child’s gestation without any help.