Boss Lady Seeks Male Personal Assistant With Dick Pics on Craigslist

A 33-year-old “creative industry professional” was sick of seeing Craigslist postings from male “corporate types” looking for sexy female personal assistants—until she realized that she’s just as busy and lecherous as those guys, and could make use of a hot piece of her own. Cutting to the chase, her Craiglist ad requests that applicants send pictures.

While she would prefer face shots, dick pics are welcomed. The compensation is $150 per 10-hour day, along with a promise of lunch and Stüssy beanies. Requests for comment on whether or not the ad was just a guerilla marketing technique for Stüssy were not returned.

Here’s the ad in full:

So, for years I had seen postings by guys, usually corporate types, looking for young hot chicks to personal assist. I thought they were such assholes.

Then I found myself in need of a personal assistant—I am a 33 year old woman—and I realized I was the same exact way. The reason I need a personal assistant is to decrease my stress level. I am a guy’s girl and if I am going to delegate to someone I don’t want to worry about this person’s feelings, our “dynamic” and all that Massengill commercial type bullshit.

The ideal candidate would be like, completely adorable, have some connection to arts/media, be semi-codependent, have an affinity for cool ass bitches in their 30s, common sense, a ready smile, a tender heart, zero sarcasm, and if you secretly believe in God that would be amazing. I basically just need you to hold my hand while I invoice and take care of about 1000000000000000000 horrible to do list items and prevent me from self destructing due to my innermost self hating my own success. That’s why I can’t have a bitch on board. None of y’all hipster transplant chicks in this city ryde or die enough to be a good PA. Would you bitches take a bullet? Nah hell nah. The ideal candidate (23-27, male, loves beanies, smart) knows exactly what type of lil cracker ho bag I’m talking about. Omg my adventure in New York City! Selfie! Artisanal yeast infection trustafarian retard. Ironically this girl would work her ass off for no pay but I can’t deal with her taking selfies “here’s me and my uber cool boss at the DMV!”

In short – 150 for 10 hours a day of the easiest most hilarious job ever – babysitting a 33 year old creative industry professional with a kind heart and a ragged soul.

Yeah send me a pic or five, dick pics are ok but one should be of your face :))) por favor

Please don’t like Kubrick

Thanks

We’re just as disgusting as men. Equality! We did it, girls.

‘I am overwhelmed’ : Jaded corporate chick seeks personal male assistant on craigslist. [Scallywag and Vagabond]