Being a Mom Is Not a ‘Job’

A new poll reveals that 92% of mothers agree with the statement: “There’s no tougher job than being a mom.” But the thing is, being a mom is not a job—if it were, you’d get time off, maybe some health insurance, and most importantly, paid for all your hard work.

The results of the Parents magazine poll are already being mocked on the Internet by some who find the superlative nature of the statement offensive, or simply untrue. A post at The Atlantic—which states it’s better and more accurate to emphasize the importance of being a mom over its toughness—points to two take downs of the ubiquitous statement. One is by comedian Bill Burr (who is not a father) comparing mothering to coal-mining:

What would you rather be doing: drilling to the center of the Earth, shaking hands with the Devil? Every time there’s a rumble in the ground you’re waiting for the whole thing to collapse down on you so they can write that folk song about you? Or would you rather be up in the sunshine, running around with a couple of toddlers that you can send to bed anytime you want?

And feminist columnist Jill Filipovic tweeted:

I actually think I would prefer to risk dying in a hole in the ground than to have to re-experience the absolute torture it was to have my body torn in half so somebody could pull a human being out of it. I especially think that coal mining sounds like a fucking gourmet picnic compared to that time I didn’t sleep for more than two hours in a row for months on end so I could feed a screaming infant with my bloodied tits. And it sure beats the hell out of the time that I was home alone with the baby and needed to rush to comfort her so she would stop turning blue from crying—even though I was still unable to stand up straight after my C-section—when just at that very moment the severe constipation I had endured for my first nine days post-partum came to an abrupt end and I shit my hospital-issued netted underpants. While sobbing. And topless. With milk shooting out of my tits and on to the floor, which had become slippery from the spray of multiple orifices.

Maybe I don’t have what it takes to be a rocket scientist, but I dare any one of those nerds to walk a mile (barefoot) in my breastmilk poop pee and then tell me their cushy office job is harder than the shit I have to deal with.

Being a mom is fucking hard. (It’s harder than being a dad, that’s for damn sure.) It pushes a woman to her absolute limits physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. It will break you. And there is no escape, no time to shower, no union to step in and say, “Hey, that’s too much and unfair.”

Of course, while mothers don’t earn money for their work, we are compensated in other ways, like kisses, cuteness, adorable Instagram feeds, and the promise that one day certain childless blowhards might be eating their words, shitting them back out on to the floor, and stepping in it.