Baseball Star's Holiday Safety Tip: 'Ladies, Let Ur Man Drive'

Today, I took a break from gestating male heirs/ slaving over a hot stove/ piping down and letting the men talk to check this website called “Twitter,” where a famous base-ball player named David Price had some great Thanksgiving travel tips for ladies: let your man drive! Especially in dangerous weather! Men, you see, can drive. Ladies can’t.

David Price, who is an adult man who makes millions of dollars playing a game in Florida and who, in 2012, hurt his neck thrice while wiping his head with a towel (so you know he’s got a universal, relatable set of life experiences), issued his edict in response to weather reports that weather over Thanksgiving will be dicey.

I think we can all agree that “Everyone thats traveling for thanksgiving please be careful! Driving conditions will be rough with these storms! Ladies..let ur man drive!” is great advice, but what I’d really like to know is what other sort of holiday safety tips David Price might have for ladies.

Puddle conditions might be wet with this rain. Ladies let ur man put his coat down!

Pride conditions might be hurt by Thanksgiving insults. Ladies let ur man draw pistols at dawn!

Holiday bandit conditions might be heavy. Ladies let ur man sword fight them!

Water might be infected with cholera. Ladies let ur man clean the latrine!

Any other suggestions for what ladies should let their man do this Thanksgiving? You know what to do.