Bachelorette Star Loses Shoulder in Tragic Photoshop Incident

ABC’s The Bachelorette will kick off its 10th season on Monday, May 19th. Unfortunately, it seems that this season’s star has already suffered from the unthinkable: she’s lost her shoulder to the brutal chop of a heavy handed photoshopper. Also, her real hands have been replaced by Replicant hands.

Trying to find love on this show starring egg white-gobbling men with names my brain remembers as Kryptstin and Jordache is like trying to grow a vegetable garden in a cotton candy machine, but I wish 26-year-old lawyer Andi Dorfman the best of luck in this season. And I hope her hands and shoulder rest in peace.

Like I do every season, I’ll probably watch until I get bored, or at least until the premiere of that show where dumb people get tricked into thinking they’re competing to marry Prince Harry.