Babies Not Even Worth It Anymore
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Reproducing is like super low rise fit-n-flare glitter jeans: so 10 years ago.
Despite the best efforts of the Duggar family, since the beginning of the recession, the American birth rate has plummeted. This isn’t happening because we ladies were all sat down in a room together and informed that having a baby means letting a tiny angry stranger grow inside of our bodies for 9 months until removed by a very expensive team of medical experts. The birth rate isn’t dropping because babies and children and most young adults are ungrateful jerks who don’t understand the sacrifices their parents made for them until it’s embarrassingly too late. Americans are having fewer babies because kids are just too fucking expensive, and that’s not going to change anytime soon.
In fact, some couples have put off babyhaving for so long that it’s no longer an option. “We’ll have kids when we can afford it” has turned into “We’ll have kids when we can afford it which should occur at about a quarter till never.” From Today,
…many experts expect that women who put off having kids because of financial worries will eventually at least try to play catch up. Still, no one knows for sure whether those women will end up having as many children as they might have if the economy were stronger.
“The net effect in the past has been that you had about the same amount of babies … but they were just born a little later,” Cohn said.
But, she notes, that may not happen this time.
WHAT?! It may not happen? Sell your stock in affordably-priced baby food, America, because the only people popping out wee ones are the Wealthies who can afford to hire organic storks to personally feed their offspring like baby birds OR people who give their babies mashed up Flamin’ Hot Cheetos mixed with Mountain Dew Code Red and forget they left the stove on.