Angelina's Lack Of Glamour Triggers Mag Meltdown

• WWD writes that Angelina Jolie needs to up her style game because Salt had boring clothes. Jolie is failing in her duty to all womankind because, “fashion needs aspirational icons; it always has. Michelle Obama can’t do it alone.” [WWD]
• American Vogue may be holding out on Victoria Beckham, but Ellen von Unwerth shot her — and the kind of giant martini we could all do with from time to time — for the cover of Vogue Turkey. [Fashionindie]
• Naomi Watts will be the face of Ann Taylor this fall. Previously, Cameron Russell, Heidi Klum, Milla Jovovich, and Liya Kebede did the honors. [WWD]
• Nike is set to pay $1.5 million into a fund for workers displaced by the closure of two Nike subsidiary factories in Honduras. The company had earlier denied any responsibility, leading to pressure from student and workers’ rights groups. [WWD]
• Sofia Coppola, who made a Dior perfume ad with Maryna Linchuk in 2007, directed another commercial for Dior featuring Natalie Portman and Coppola’s cousin Robert Schwartzman (brother of Jason). [Fashionologie]
• Milan never again intends to face a glorified weekend of a fashion week, as it did in February. This time around, the schedule will last seven days, and the show venues will be concentrated in the city’s center. Diego Della Valle says Anna Wintour is coming, too. [WWD]
• Supposedly, after her house was burgled of valuable artworks and flooded with sewage earlier this year, Jamie Hince convinced Kate Moss to hire an exorcist to rid the dwelling of bad spirits. [Vogue UK]
• Feast your eyes on David Agbodji‘s fall Calvin Klein men’s campaign, shot by Steven Klein. [Design Scene]
• Kristen McMenamy, 45, made the decision to stop dying her hair six years ago. Except for one big black streak in the middle, which she dyes grey to match the rest. [Vogue]
• Artists including Robert Longo, Kenneth Anger, and Barry Reigate have contributed to the fall campaigns we’ve seen so far. Models.com traces the influences and relates the results to each artist’s non-fashion work. [Models.com]
• 19-year-old Argentinian new face Naomi Preizler keeps a photo blog dedicated to Rosa Luxemburg. [The Jerut Of Rosa Luxemburgo]
• Miranda Kerr‘s super-secret wedding to Orlando Bloom took place somewhere in America. It’s so secret, nobody’s even saying where. But the couple are already returned from their Caribbean honeymoon. Kerr still has not publicly stated whether or not she is pregnant. [Fashionologie]
• San Francisco’s De Young museum has a new exhibit focusing entirely on the history of tie-dye. [WWD]
• Nastia Liukin wanted to make her J.C. Penney‘s clothing line “Mom-friendly and Mom-approved,” because “You don’t want these girls flaunting around at recess looking like they don’t have pants on.” [The Cut]
• Lanvin‘s first New York store is now open, with electricity and everything. [Style.com]
• London jeweler Stephen Webster is opening his first U.S. store in Los Angeles. Upstairs will be a gallery, which will feature Webster’s collaborations with artists and the work friends like Rankin and Tracy Emin. [WWD]
• Premier, a modeling agency in London, will be the subject of a “fly on the wall” fashion week documentary produced by Channel Four. [Vogue UK]
• There is speculation that PPR, the global luxury conglomerate, might want to buy Burberry. [WWD]
• Marks & Spencer is launching a line of Robert Pattinson-inspired underwear. But do they sparkle? [Stylelist]
• Iconix Brand Group, which owns everything from Candie’s to half of Ed Hardy to Badgley Mischka, said its second quarter profits were up by 27.2% on last year. Of course, last year was last year, and in fashion, last year’s profits were terrible. [WWD]
• After a teenaged Garance Doré couldn’t hack it as a waitress — “I don’t know what adolescent brain deformity I had,” she writes, but “The day that someone asked me if the red fruits in the red-fruit tart were from frozen or not I just starting crying in the middle of the restaurant” — her mother set her up with a job as a windsurfing instructor. At a nudist resort. [Garance Doré]
• Wanna spend an hour shopping with Cyndi Lauper at the Betsey Johnson store?* [CharityBuzz]

*Fun not guaranteed