American Student Gets Stuck in 13-Foot Marble Vagina

Is this somehow a terrible omen for Thursday’s World Cup match between the US and Germany?

An American exchange student became quite the spectacle after getting stuck in a giant stone vulva on the Tübingen University Institute of Microbiology in Germany. Apparently he got wedged in there after a “dare went awry.” According to the student’s friend, who lovingly took photos of the incident and posted them on the internet, the poor dude just wanted to take a funny picture. And that’s pretty much exactly what he got.

22 firefighters in five emergency vehicles showed up to help extract him from the marble statue, which by the way was undamaged in the whole operation. According to Herald Sun:

“The 13-year-old $173,000 statue, designed by Peruvian artist Fernando de la Jara, was said to be recovering well. The name, “Pi-Chacan”, means “making love” in a Peruvian Indian dialect.”