Welcome to Jezebel's Grammy red carpet extravagaaanza! Let's do this:

Early birds in black & white: Kelly Osbourne is in an interesting polka-dot gown that really does not flatter her fish clutch, and Kat Graham is wearing a Yanina Couture dress that, despite its oddities, really underwhelms:

Oh boy, and Madonna has arrived! On the arm of Diplo, natch. Aaand Givenchy dressed her like a straight up matador. Really, Riccardo? I feel like giving her three images is kind of like admitting defeat, but oh well:

OK, HERE WE GO: Charli XCX is in a white satin-y tuxedo by with pink accents by Moschino ("but like good Moschino" - Julianne Escobedo Shepherd), not a huge fur fan myself but I must say the whole thing is very campy Grammys chic and I'm digging it. Esme Haim is in Chloe, the other Haims are in Stella McCartney, all Haim sisters are looking p. cool. And Jessie J. looks lovely, if a little bit too gown-centric for this particular awards show:

Sam Smith rocking the classic Sam Smith combo of pursed lips and a tux; Nick Jonas and girlfriend Olivia Culpo look very happy together; Ariana Grande is wearing a Versace gown with some odd draping, it looks a bit like her dress has come down with a bout of greyscale:

Gwen Stefani looks ah-mazing in this architectural Versace jumpsuit; Chrissy Teigen's Emilio Pucci dress, however, I am a bit less enamored with—girlfriend could look good in a paper bag, but the cutouts are weird, the length is wrong, and what is with this bracelet-over-sleeves thing? Oh, and here's Sia with her mini-me, whose shoes I very much dig.

THANK YOU, Jenny Lewis, for bringing some color into this b&w void. She really loves that suit, huh? Pharrell and his perfect Amazonian wife Helen Lasichanh have made some questionable decisions with their apparel, but literally who cares because it's the Grammys; Chris Brown looks...penitent?

Meghan Trainor looks pretty goddamn bad in an ill-fitted sheer atrocity with some weird tattoo-armed thing, I can't even figure it out; Katy Perry looking sexy 'n spangled in Zuhair Murad; Ciara's dress is bizarre and voluminous and kind of awesome, if nearly NSFW:

Lady Gaga in Brandon Maxwell; Taylor Swift in a brilliant custom-made pleated Elie Saab—this might be my favorite look thus far, although it could just be my color-starved eyes speaking; Anna Kendrick keeps it simple in a black suit and pumps.

Jennifer Hudson keeps it sleek and simple in a white strapless knee-length and some strong choker/lipstick game; Iggy Azalea is wearing royal blue Armani Prive and a very weird milkmaid hair-crown thing, somebody is already feeling like a *princess*; Miley Cyrus is also doing cut-outs in Alexandre Vauthier, but she is making dang sure we are seeing those hip bones!

Paris Hilton is reading very #cool and #current in this ice skating getup; Kim Kardashian is in Gaultier and...okay, I know those pockets are aggressive, but I'm kind of into it? I like that silhouette for her, okay??? And Nicole Kidman is looking glowy in a kicky lil' Mugler turtleneck dress.

HIGH ALERT HIGH ALERT RIHANNA IS IN GIAMBATTISTA VALLI LOOKING LIKE A CANDY-PINK MOTHERFUCKING QUEEN. The crazy proportions, the unexpected color—it's perfect for this setting, and I love it. I LOVE IT YOU GUYS.

And for our final trio, we have: Rita Ora in Prada, Nicki Minaj in Tom Ford, and Beyoncé in Proenza Schouler. Some fierce vibes going down right here.

Images via Getty