Absolute Champion Delivers 14.5 Pound Baby

A Massachusetts woman is currently recuperating after giving birth to a baby girl weighing 14 pounds and 8 ounces. All together now: Wince. Somebody get that lady a cocktail and an economy-sized bottle of ibuprofen.

According to Boston.com, little Carisa is the second-biggest baby Mass General has ever delivered. She's perfectly healthy, and her mom frankly found the number reassuring: "I heard the weight and I was like, 'Oh my God.' It validated me because I was in a lot of pain when I was pregnant, so to hear the size, it made sense," Caroline Ruscak told Boston's WCVB.

The baby's proud papa also snapped a pic of the scale to capture the moment:

"When she came out at 14 and a half pounds, I couldn't believe it. I took a picture of the scale just to document it because I couldn't believe how big she was. And long too — 22 inches is long. That's what we like long and big. That's what I am," he said.

"I've been teased a lot so I'm a good sport, no problem with me long as they don't say anything bad about my little girl," he added, adorably.

Carisa was delivered via C-section. Whew.