It's a terrible injustice to wait until exactly 10am to log on to Ticketmaster and pay a large amount of money (which could pay for a lot of other things in your life, like wifi for months; many drinks; a train ticket to a cooler city than the one you live in) to see a pop star perform — and then the site crashes or you're inputting your credit card information and you get kicked off and it slowly dawns on you that you will not be attending The Mrs. Carter Show World Tour even though Beyoncé has added extra performances at the Barclays center like you knew she would.
It might be more disastrous, however, to actually make it through that harrowing process and show up to the venue find out that oh wait, this is going to be the longest night of your life. Especially if you're going to see someone like Rihanna who, over the course of the past couple of years, appears to have a growing disinterest in showing up even remotely on time (or, well, showing up at all). Herewith, an accounting of how Rihanna doesn't give a shit about your silly concert tickets.
September 29, 2011, Belfast. Rihanna is 90 minutes late starting her show; "BELFAST sorry for being so late 2nt!BIG SHOW!FIRST NIGHT!Things dont always run smoothly or as planned,but I dearly appreciate ur patience" she later says on Twitter,.
November 14, 2011, London. Rihanna is 65 minutes late starting her show. When she does begin, she apparently shouts, "London, put your fucking hands together." One attendee writes that he thought, "Rihanna, why don't you fucking apologise."
November 2012, 777 Tour. Journalists brought along on Rihanna's airplane discover that they'll be dealing with constant "unbelievably long delays that wasted time by the bucketload."
November 19, 2012, London. Rihanna shows up an hour late to an appearance and performs only one song, but is paid hundreds of thousands. She reportedly has gathered thousands of dollars in fines for late flight departures.
March 10, 2013, Boston. Rihanna cancels her show because of laryngitis. She tweets, "
#BOSTON this is the hardest thing for me to deal with! I feel like we've been waiting on this day forever, and I'm hurt that I let you down."
March 12, 2013. Baltimore. Rihanna is still sick and reschedules her performance for April.
March 23, 2013, Chicago. Rihanna is four and a half hours late to a charity appearance at a high school. On her way there, she Instagrams a photo of herself in her car, with the caption "This Chicago traffic is not working." When she finally arrives, she stays for 16 minutes.
March 25, 2013, Winnipeg. Delayed at the Canadian border, Rihanna tweets: "They held my trucks at the border!!! This is not a good look for Winnipeg! My stage is in those trucks, disassembled!
#DiamondsWorldTour." Doors open an hour late, A$AP Rocky starts performing an hour late and Rihanna doesn't go on until 11 pm.
March 27, 2013, Edmonton. Rihanna starts performing an hour late.
March 30, 2013, Calgary. Rihanna is "a full 100 minutes" late starting her set.
April 16, 2013, Dallas. Rihanna postpones her performance.
April 30, 2013, Washington, DC. Rihanna starts 30 minutes late; one reviewer writes that "it almost felt like she was early" because of her bad track record.
May 6, 2013. Boston. Rihanna is three hours late for her make-up concert in Boston; some muse that it's because she's watching the Chicago Bulls game. She Instagrams a picture of the crowd with the caption "#BOSTON I will never forget this night!!! I truly have deeper love for you now!!! Thank you for making it extra special!! #DWT"
Maybe you should just stay home and twerk to "Rude Boy" alone at home? Save a few bucks.
Image via Bizuayehu Tesfaye/Invision/AP.