It's not like I'm super surprised that A&E immediately caved to the legions of frothing bigots and put Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson back on the air—despite the fact that the dude compared homosexuality to bestiality and said that the Jim Crow south was fucking awesome and then self-high-fived and took a shit on a VHS of Roots. There's no way that everyone at that network didn't already know Robertson was a racist homophobic garbage monster, seeing as they had cameras on him pretty much 24/7. There was probably a whole team of people whose entire job it was to scrub the Phil footage of stuff good white American patriotic duck people aren't "allowed" to say out loud no more (#nobama) so that A&E could keep raking in duck bucks. Clearly, A&E'$ commitment to human fucking right$ end$ preci$ely where their commitment to $$$$$$$$$$ begin$$$$$$$$$$$$. Anyway, check out the excu$e they had the ball$ to $ay out loud.
"As a global media content company, A+E Networks' core values are centered around creativity, inclusion and mutual respect," A&E's full statement begins. "We believe it is a privilege for our brands to be invited into people's home and we operate with a strong sense of integrity and deep commitment to these principals.
"That is why we reacted so quickly and strongly to a recent interview with Phil Robertson. While Phil's comments made in the interview reflect his personal views based on his own beliefs, and his own personal journey, he and his family have publicly stated they regret the 'coarse language' he used and the mis-interpretation of his core beliefs based only on the article. He also made it clear he would 'never incite or encourage hate.' We at A+E Networks expressed our disappointment with his statements in the article, and reiterate that they are not views we hold."
$hame on you. Dickwad$. [E!]
- Jessica Biel mixed up sugar and salt and ruined her cinnabunz. [E!]
- Kristin Cavallari snoogled with her baybay. [E!]
- Albert Hammond Jr. got married. [People]
- This is so bizarre to me. Americans chose Kim and Kanye as 2013's "Worst Neighbor," and said they'd most like to live next door to Jimmy Fallon. WHY!? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU DON'T KNOW ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE. WHAT IS YOUR CRITERIA!? AMERICA, GET A GODDAMN GRIP ALREADY. [Radar]
- Ricky Martin wants Hillary Clinton to be the president. [Extra]
- Scott Disick got drunk. [Radar]
- Here's LeAnn Rimes wearing an elegant evening gown in a prison shower with no eyeballs. #fashion [E!]
- Miley Cyrus just really needs to "be herself." [Reuters]
- Carmen Electra stays sexy by dancing for "several hours per day." [ContactMusic]
- TGIF OMG BYE BYE
Image via Getty.