Share Your Best Tales of Back-to-School Triumph and Humiliation

After Labor Day, students and teachers across the country will be headed back to classrooms for the beginning of a new school year. For some, this time of the year is brimming with opportunity. (What will you learn? Who will you meet?) For others, it’s a time of dread. (What WILL you learn? WHO will you meet?) The… »9/04/15 8:00pmYesterday 8:00pm

Cool Pope Not So Cool When It Comes to Transgender Godparents 

The current pope has been celebrated far and wide for being very chill (and telling people not to breed like rabbits), but here’s a gentle reminder that he’s not at all as progressive as he world likes to think: He’s just clarified that transgender individuals can’t become godparents. Sorry, the world still sucks. »9/04/15 7:01pmYesterday 7:01pm

Investigation: Can Cat Hair Really Get Stuck In Your Vagina for Months?

Earlier this week, Michelle Barrow made headlines when she revealed (exclusively to XOJane) that she’d gotten cat hair tangles in her IUD due to both the vigorous thrusting of her partner and the fact that her bed was covered lightly in cat hair. Is this possible, everyone on the internet wondered; Is a hair ball… »9/04/15 6:30pmYesterday 6:30pm

Watch a Very Smug Circa 2008 Jared Fogle Explain That Pedophiles Who Get Caught Are Idiots

There’s nothing worse than a smug asshole who thinks they’re getting away with something. Jared Fogle, who is only now getting his comeuppance for heinous crimes involving children, is no exception. The former Subway spokesperson and “Child Porn & Chill” enthusiast may be going to jail now, but in 2008, he was on top… »9/04/15 5:10pmYesterday 5:10pm

Kim Davis's Lawyer Compares the Jailed Homophobe to a Jew Living in Nazi Germany

Kim Davis has finally been punished for her refusal to uphold laws that grant others civil rights. If she wants to get out of jail anytime soon, she should probably fire her lawyer from Liberty Counsel, because he just unironically compared her to a Jew being persecuted by Nazis. »9/04/15 4:28pmYesterday 4:28pm

Comatose Woman Wakes to Reveal Her Alleged Suicide Attempt Was Really Murder

An Italian woman who went into a coma following a 115-foot fall from a cruise ship balcony in July has woken to deny reports that she had tried to commit suicide. Now police are investigating her boyfriend, who the victim says was abusive. “I don’t know if he pushed me, but I certainly didn’t want to commit suicide,”… »9/04/15 3:50pmYesterday 3:50pm

'Stripper Moms' and 'Panty Droppers' No Longer Cool in New Hampshire

Up until recently, you could saddle up to any ole liquor store in New Hampshire and ask a worker what you needed to make a cocktail like the Stripper Mom, the Panty Dropper, or (your personal favorite) the Busted Rubber. Not anymore, though! Thanks to the P.C. thought and cocktail police, all of these drinks with… »9/04/15 3:30pmYesterday 3:30pm

This Clip of British Babies Chilling With Elephant Babies Is Really Too Much

In a clip from an episode of BBC’s This Wild Life, which follows wildlife expert Saba Douglas-Hamilton and her family’s move to the Samburu National Reserve in Kenya (sort of an IRL The Wild Thornberrys), Saba and her young kids hang out with Sokotei, a recently orphaned baby elephant, at an orphanage in Nairobi. »9/04/15 2:30pmYesterday 2:30pm

I Have 8 Types of Cheese in My Fridge Right Now But Not Kraft Singles, Thank God

Last month, Kraft announced that they were recalling thousands of boxes of their “cheese” singles. On Thursday, they went further, recalling 335,000 cases on top of the 36,000 already taken off the market, because more customers reported that they too had eaten a piece of wrapper plastic instead of straight cheese. »9/04/15 1:50pmYesterday 1:50pm

Daycare Employees Who Started a 'Baby Fight Club' Are Headed to Court

The first rule of Baby Fight Club is: You do not put videos of your Baby Fight Club on Snapchat. If you break that [incredibly important] rule of Baby Fight Club, you will probably be fired from your job and charged with “endangering the welfare of a child.” This is, for the most part, what happened to two New Jersey… »9/04/15 1:30pmYesterday 1:30pm