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Drake and Rihanna Hung Out Twice, 'Proof' that They Are Humping Again

It is written: If two people who formerly humped hang out twice in one week, they are 100% definitely humping once again. (I mean, that actually usually is true, but also this is silly.) Such is the case with Rihanna and Drake, who sat near each other at a club the other night and then at Drake's concert the following… » 8/20/14 8:00pm 38 minutes ago

Man Masturbates at Panera, Manager Offers Traumatized Victim a Cookie

Today in unmitigated horror and maddening fuck-ups, a customer at a DC-area Panera Bread alleges that a man approached her in the store, exposed himself, and began masturbating in her direction. When she alerted a manager—and pointed out her assailant, who was leaving the store unchallenged—the manager declined to… » 8/20/14 7:45pm 53 minutes ago

Selfie Is Truly My Fair Lady for the Social Media Generation

He's a friendless, crabby, workaholic who hates the internet. She's a similarly friendless, shallow, Instagram rockstar. It's a tale as old as time. ABC just released the pilot for their new show Selfie, and it should probably just be called Pygmalion: There's An App For That. » 8/20/14 6:20pm Today 6:20pm

SeaWorld Officially Gives Up on Having Their Trainers Swim with Orcas

It's the beginning of the end, hopefully! In response to the continuing post-Blackfish revolt, rapidly falling stock, and a subsequent federal safety citation, SeaWorld has officially stopped all "close contact" between whales and trainers during shows. » 8/20/14 6:00pm Today 6:00pm

Every Outfit Shelley Long Wears in Troop Beverly Hills, Ranked

Troop Beverly Hills turns 25 this year, which is probably a quarter of the number of times I watched it as a child (exceeded only by the original Parent Trap, which is in my DNA now). So, naturally—in honor of this august occasion and because I've gone at least a decade without any Nefler the Muffler Man in my life—it… » 8/20/14 5:40pm Today 5:40pm

Adorable Four-Year-Old Food Reviewer Not Into All That Fancy Shit

Lyla Hogan was recently the youngest person to ever try the tasting Menu at The French Laundry, an eatery which known blowhard Anthony Bourdain has called "the best restaurant in the world, period." What did Lyla think of the 5 hour-plus food experience? Well, she liked the ginger ale and the bathroom! » 8/20/14 5:20pm Today 5:20pm

Malala Yousafzai's Mom Is Learning to Read and Write

Since being shot by the Taliban for her dogged insistence on attending school (and talking up its importance), Malala Yousafzai has become one of the world's best-known campaigners for women's literacy. Seems she's got influence at home, too: Her mom has recently learned to read, write and speak some English. » 8/20/14 5:00pm Today 5:00pm

How Twitter Could Beat the Trolls, And Why It Won’t

Twitter has a troll problem. It has from the beginning, really. But it's been particularly loud this month, thrown into sharp relief with the sickening attacks on Robin Williams' grieving daughter, Zelda. Twitter's response has been tepid at best—and as far as squashing trolls goes, it's the most we can ever expect. » 8/20/14 4:58pm Today 4:58pm

Palin Hated Looking Dumb on SNL, Doesn't Mind the Rest of the Time

In the new edition of the SNL oral history "Live From New York," former vice presidential hopeful and current drunk lady in a wig Sarah Palin reveals that she was none too happy with Tina Fey's iconic portrayal of her in the lead-up to the 2008 election. "I know that they portrayed me as an idiot, and I hated that,"… » 8/20/14 4:40pm Today 4:40pm

This Week in Tabloids: George Clooney is Pregnant

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which in which we venture through the hellish landscape contained within the pages of Star, Us Weekly, OK!, Life & Style and InTouch, like the last remaining survivors of a cataclysmic event. This week: Amal Alamuddin AND George Clooney are pregnant; North West's diaper cream costs… » 8/20/14 4:00pm Today 4:00pm

Correction: Jessica Simpson Doesn't Actually Want a Rounder Butt

On Wednesday, Jezebel received intel indicating that Jessica Simpson was "shopping around for a fuller, rounder butt a la Kim K." This information came from The National Enquirer via Radar Online via an email from a PR company. The validity of this missive, however, would quickly be called into question. » 8/20/14 3:20pm Today 3:20pm

10 Things of Note In Nicki Minaj’s 'Anaconda' Video

Last night at midnight, the world was finally blessed with the video for Nicki Minaj's latest single, Anaconda. The song itself has always been a bit meh, we all knew this. But she more than made up for it with an aggressive hype campaign and the video itself certainly lived up to expectations. If nothing else, Nicki… » 8/20/14 3:00pm Today 3:00pm

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Brighter Is Better, Especially Where Summer Style Is Concerned

With summer in full swing it's time to ditch that dark denim and mix-up your style arsenal with accessories that are way more vibrant. Since being spotted everywhere from international runways to the glossy pages of Vogue, the fashion world has been embarking on a vivid journey with the return of highlighter hues and… » 8/20/14 12:00pm Today 12:00pm