I know; that was dumb. She's so lovely it makes me HSDA!!#@U#KHDKASBHJSKHA. Read… 12/04/13 11:00pm Yesterday 11:00pm

Some of you may know that I was briefly homeless when I was in my early twenties. I mentioned this offhandedly in a comment on Gawker and some people were interested to hear about that experience. It was the worst time of my life, and I also had it a lot better than most people. Read on Groupthink 12/04/13 10:29pm Yesterday 10:29pm

If you're not prepared to be heartbroken, don't read the following. In the exact opposite of a holiday miracle, a woman unknowingly live-tweeted the death of her husband. Read… 12/04/13 9:45pm Yesterday 9:45pm

Finally, Awkwafina brings us unassailable proof that vaginas are the best at everything. Well, the best at farting and birthing (human) babies. Vaginas 1, Buttholes 0. Read… 12/04/13 9:30pm Yesterday 9:30pm

This is Lily, she is adorable and brilliant and has only been on this earth for a year. Here's to sixty more, you portly, precious pachyderm! Read… 12/04/13 8:30pm Yesterday 8:30pm

Aw man, not this human egg-fart again. Noted social butterfly and vulnerable-starlet-betrayer Sam Lutfi is back in the "news" again, having released a number of private texts that he claims are from a hysterical, emotionally dysfunctional Britney Spears. I don't know if they're actually from Britney or not, and I really… Read… 12/04/13 8:25pm Yesterday 8:25pm

So emotional! So moving! Whoever knew that Katy Perry's "California Gurls" was such poetry? Luckily, like a diamond in the rough, the true meaning of KP's ode to the ladies of the Golden State was spotted by comedian/songsmith/Jezebel favorite Eliot Glazer and now we all benefit. Read… 12/04/13 8:00pm Yesterday 8:00pm

In today's Tweet Beat, Miley Cyrus speaks the truth about the best couple's outfit that ever was, Crystal Hefner is friends with Spencer and Heidi and Chet Haze thinks it's funny that anyone would be paying attention to him. Read… 12/04/13 7:40pm Yesterday 7:40pm

So, turns out there's more to Busta Rhymes's "Pass The Courvoisier" than Monique punching him and Jamie Foxx's booty bounce (4:47 people); the rapper also helped further a Courvoisier revolution. Though this isn't new information to most Black Americans — anyone else attended a black event, asked for whiskey and received … Read… 12/04/13 7:20pm Yesterday 7:20pm

The trailer for Disney XD's new Japanizi: Going, Going Gong plays like a specially made media installation to accompany a game of Uninformed Generalizations About Japanese Culture Bingo: Japanese man shouting in a kooky outfit! Sumo wrestlers! Ninjas! Guy hitting a gong! Read… 12/04/13 5:55pm Yesterday 5:55pm

It's the kind of moment the internet was made for. Read… 12/04/13 5:30pm Yesterday 5:30pm

Want that jacket. Want those shoes. Want that baby. Give me your baby, Beyonce. GIVE ME YOUR BABY. Discuss… 12/04/13 5:15pm Yesterday 5:15pm

Coming to the Sundance Film Festival: Camp X-Ray, a movie starring Kristen Stewart as a guard at Guantanamo who "forms an unlikely friendship with one of the detainees." Pretty sure he is not a vampire. Discuss… 12/04/13 5:00pm Yesterday 5:00pm

Good news, prurient ones: Real Sex is back—hopefully. The news comes from Vulture (which ran a great oral history of the show a few months ago). Chris Moukarbel, whose credits include Me @ the Zoo, is making a pilot for a reboot, titled SEX // NOW. It'll run January 2 at 11 p.m, and the subject is cam girls. Read… 12/04/13 4:20pm Yesterday 4:20pm

Strengthen your barricades, ration your goods, and enlist your sons and daughters because there's a war on! Not a real war, but a war on Christmas, you see! Still, it's just as important (no, it's not) and deserves to be taken just as seriously (no, it doesn't) as any real invasion. I mean, the "War on Christmas"… Read… 12/04/13 3:00pm Yesterday 3:00pm

Please watch as some kid tells the tale of Home Alone and a pug acts it out and I laugh along, in total hysterics. (Either this video is really, really right or something is really, really wrong with me.) (Or both.) (Probably both.) Discuss… 12/04/13 2:20pm Yesterday 2:20pm

"Easy Street"? Read… 12/04/13 2:10pm Yesterday 2:10pm