9 Things Wrong With This Disney Princess Lingerie

It’s pretty clear that someone will buy any-damn-thing with Disney princess branding emblazoned on it. Hell, the company has an entire wedding boutique. So it’s not particularly surprising that a Japanese online retailer would create an entire line of Disney princess lingerie.

RocketNews 24 reports that the lingerie is being sold by Bellemaison, as part of their “Disney Fantasy Shop.” It’s rather jarring to see beloved childhood figures next to va-va-vavoom bra and panty sets, but not that weird for the Internet. The big problem here is execution. This lingerie is a fashion travesty.

Allow me to count the ways in which Disney princesses deserve better:

1.) It looks bootleg. Maybe Disney actually did sign off on it, but it still looks like knockoffs. And for $38, “maybe legit” just isn’t good enough.

2.) Belle’s underwear is supposedly inspired by her famous golden gown, but it’s really more of a mustard, and that rose is much too on-the-nose. Also, her name is spelled “Bell” on the advertisement. :/

3.) In terms of style, Aurora probably made out the best here—but the color is ALL WRONG. Clearly the right choice would have been iridescent blue and pink, but it would’ve also been acceptable to choose either bright blue or bright pink. Instead the product is a flat, dusty rose, which looks like a sad Victorian spinster’s dingy parlor.

Also, they look like period panties.

4.) Cinderella’s doing OK until you get to that unflattering chiffon ruff. The peplum trend is bad enough without it invading lingerie.

5.) Rapunzel’s look like they were designed by the same company behind Tinkerbell Cosmetics. Not sure why, but this one comes off the most inappropriate of the lot.

6.) Where are the boyshorts? Pretty sure there’s an international treaty dictating that every lingerie line must include at least one boyshort option.

7.) It’s a big mistake to omit Snow White, as her faintly 30s-era styling would make for a cool vintage look. Maybe a slip-like negligee? Just spitballing here. And where’s Jasmine? (I think it’s pretty obvious why they skipped Ariel—no panties.)

8.) They look dangerously flammable, honestly, like they’re made of the same material as children’s costumes from the early 1990s.

9.) They are basically all the same thing. Disney princesses have personalities, dammit. They don’t all wear the same identical style of underwear. Get it together, Japan.