Dirt Bag: Rihanna Mounted Chris Brown In Public On HalloweenS

Nothing on All Hallows' Eve was scarier than what went down at a West Hollywood party at Greystone Manor, where Rihanna gave Chris Brown "dirty lap dances." As opposed to, you know, chastely grinding on someone's one-eyed friction whistle. [Hollyscoop]

And the next morning Ri-Ri posted a topless shot. [Daily Mail]

And Brown just had another successful probation hearing (although when Brown tried to speak, the judge cut him off: "I don't dance, you don't talk.") [CNN]

And Chris Brown's mom Joyce Hawkins took to Twitter to defend her son's questionable Halloween costume: "Halloween is for fun, nothing more than just fun. Get a life please… So does this mean when we dress our kids as Satan we glorifying him or (is) it just out of fun?… Keep smiling angel." Wow. Chris Brown has a mom, guys. [Toronto Sun]

Dirt Bag: Rihanna Mounted Chris Brown In Public On HalloweenS

In the immortal words of Wham! ft. George Michael, I'm never gonna dance again-guilty feet ain't got no rhythm. This appears to (metaphorically) be the case with Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, who spent Halloween cavorting in cheap masks at a Maroon 5-hosted party in L.A.

"They were holding hands, and at one point, he put his arm around her. She [didn't seem] as affectionate towards him." Another source: "They shared drinks with friends at the party and were in a good mood. Rob was all over Kristen, while she seemed a bit more reserved." Oh, K-Stew. If you don't want Twi-hards to keep throwing eggs at you, you better step up 2 the streets. [People]

Dirt Bag: Rihanna Mounted Chris Brown In Public On Halloween

Amanda Bynes is threatening to sue InTouch for a story they ran about the 26-year-old walking around a New York tanning salon in "nothing but her goggles," looking "painfully thin" and "out of it." Bynes retorted in Us Weekly: "I'm not ‘troubled.' I don't get naked in public. I'm 26, a multi-millionaire, retired. Please respect my privacy." So what you're trying to say, Amanda, is you're… all that? SHAZZAM. [Us Weekly]

Dirt Bag: Rihanna Mounted Chris Brown In Public On Halloween

Katy Perry and actress Shannon Woodward dressed as Jane and Daria for Halloween! A+ [Twitter]

Russell Brand bought Perry a bracelet for her birthday; I hope it was engraved with "SRY ABOUT DVORCE HAP BDAY 2 U." [Monsters and Critics]

The Cee Lo Green sexual battery story sounds weirder by the minute: the woman says that Cee Lo gave her MDMA, she blacked out, and he had sex with her. The LAPD told the woman to get a "pretext call" from Cee Lo, and now has a tape of him repeatedly apologizing and referencing MDMA, although he never says he slipped it in her drink. [TMZ]

Lady Gaga, topless, "Cannabis Queen" Halloween costume, in the drawing room, with a knife. [Us Weekly]

Matt Lauer pushed Comcast to air a Hurricane Sandy relief concert. [Radar Online]

This one time Gwyneth Paltrow's grandpa told her that her breasts looked like "two fried eggs." [The Sun]

Although Demi Moore's camp denies it, rumors are that she's hitting up a disinterested Leonardo DiCaprio (who she dated 15 years ago) to rekindle their romance. [Gossip Cop]

Get ready: the Gossip Girl finale lands December 17th. [Vulture]

Jamie Foxx might play baddie Electro in The Amazing Spider-Man 2. [Vulture]

The prepubescent lil' Toblerones of One Direction got into a glitter fight on the set of a Spanish talk show. [The Sun]

What the actual fuck: Daniel Radcliffe and Jon Hamm in a turn-of-the-century antique tub together. [D Listed]

Someone stole Amy Winehouse's wedding dress. :( [CNN]

Casper Smart, Possible Gloryhole Enthusiast, signed a confidentiality agreement when he started dating Jennifer Lopez. [News.com.au]

Fuck cheaters, says Taylor Swift. Get it, girl. [People]

Miley Cyrus is in a video for her DJ ex-boyfriend with an adult film star, continues to Just Be Miley, Put Her Hands Up, They're Playing Her Song, The Butterflies Fly Away, etc. [NYDN]

River Phoenix's last movie is finally finished and hitting the festival circuit after 19 years uncompleted on the shelf. [NYDN]

"Nickelback star Chad Kroeger once paid his drum technician $375 to stick his penis into the blades of a fan." Congrats, Avril Lavigne, you've landed a real keeper. [Contact Music]

The Sam Lufti v. Britney Spears case is finally dismissed, to the Spears family's relief and ours. [E!]

-Anna Breslaw