Six Things Marissa Mayer Should Have Done During the Maternity Leave She's Not Taking
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We get it, Internet: Marissa Mayer is doing it wrong. As the CEO of Yahoo and only one of a handful of women to whom men have been willing to hand over the keys to the empire (albeit a crumbling one) she’s an important woman and it’s obvious she doesn’t get what that means to all the rest of us, or else she would do the things we want her to do, the things we need her to do, the things we would do, the things that make us feel better and look better, the things that advance “Our Cause,” instead of being all how she is and doing the stuff she wants to do or thinks is right for her and her family. It’s SOOOO irritating, right guys?
This writer Allison Bendikt over at Slate piled on to the scrutiny when she said Marissa Mayer is making a BIG MISTAKE by not taking a longer maternity leave than like a week after the birth of her son because DUH, she had a baby? Did she forget she had a baby? I thought she was smart with her fancy job and stuff? So true, Allison Benedikt! You took it pretty far, but I think you did not go far enough, because I can think of a lot of things Marissa Mayer should be doing with maternity leave that would signal to us her true motherhood, instead of fucking us all over by getting back to work. For instance:
Get Bangs: Marissa Mayer has really cute, shiny blonde hair in a bob, but you know what would make it look better while signaling an authentic feminine transition into motherhood? Bangs. It would look bangin’ with bangs! And not, like, the wispy kind – I’m talking a heavy bang that’s really sleek and shiny. Once I had my baby, I’m telling you, the first thing I wanted to do was go get some fuckin’ bangs, because it made me feel good. I’ve never regretted it. It made my baby feel good too, which means I “took one for the team,” something, let’s face it, we all know Marissa Mayer could be better at.
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