An Interview With the Man Who Pays Me to Burn His Feet With Cigarettes While He Masturbates
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Greg pays me to come over to his apartment, usually with a friend, to burn his feet with cigarettes while he masturbates.
I consider him a friend because we’ve built a relationship over many years that’s based on mutual interests, trust and mutual appreciation. He’s also met (and paid) almost everyone woman I’ve ever known—the ones who smoke, anyway—to burn his feet. Most of these women don’t do sex work under other circumstances and come along because they’ve heard about Greg from me, or other friends, and understand that they’re walking into a dynamic that’s unlike most sex work. Based on that same understanding, those of us who do sex work as our main source of income see him for considerably less money than we expect from our other clients.
Like most clients, he’s respectful—he even offers to cover himself with a blanket for women who are unaccustomed to seeing men they don’t know masturbate—and his fetish, though particular to him, is not particularly extreme. Sessions with Greg are unique because he is an incredible person who is part of our community.
His sexual desire is not frivolous, not a luxury he allows himself because he has money to throw around. It stems from a dark place, from childhood sexual abuse, and working it out this way is absolutely essential to his ability to be the incredible person he is.
Greg graciously allowed himself to be interviewed for this piece.
We just finished a session. How do you feel?
The short answer is, I feel sated. That’s the word that comes to mind. And I feel a lot less anxious and angry and bound up than I did prior to it.
Could you describe what we just did?
You came and hung out, and talked, which is actually a very important part of this for me, to feel comfortable with someone who’s doing this with me. And then you burned the bottom of my foot, and blew smoke in my face, and I masturbated.
Will you talk a little about where this comes from for you?
I had an interesting childhood… like a lot of folks. I was overtly sexually abused and I was… intrinsically sexually abused… that’s probably not the right word. It was hinted at. But I think it’s the same thing, when stuff like that happens. I think the vibe is what you pick up on as a kid. It was a combination of a lot of that, with people who would threaten to burn me, and they would blow smoke in my face, and actually burn me. I don’t think I came out of the womb with this fetish. I think it’s pretty clear where it came from and how it developed.
When did this idea become sexualized for you?
It became totally sexualized during puberty, because that’s what I used to fantasize about. But prior to that, long prior to that, when I was I don’t know, eight, I used to draw pictures of me being burned by my aunts, and also the neighbor next door who was this woman who was a total scary creep. Most kids are drawing tanks, I was drawing these monster women with five hundred cigarettes coming out of their arms and eyes. Like I said, I don’t think I came out of the womb like that, some things were developed along the way. And what are you going to do? You have this thing, and you can work with it or not work with it, and learn to accept it or not, and feel okay about it or not, and I try to feel okay about it. I have a lot of rage because of all of the stuff that went down when I was kid. I’d like to take an axe and kill everyone who did all this shit to me, I’d like to bill them for all these sessions and have them fund it, I’d like to bill for the therapy.
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