Tecate Warns Men Not to Upset Their Tear-Fountain Girlfriends By Calling Them Fat

The beer goblins who make Tecate really want their male customers to enjoy room-temperature beer without being bothered by crying girlfriends. I mean, what’s with the deal with women crying all the time? It’s like [observational humor]. And woe to the well-meaning gentlemen who tells his alarmingly thin girlfriend that a dress makes her look fat — he’ll shatter her fragile psyche, rendering her little more than a simpering vapor of humanity, wandering misty-eyed and heartbroken through the world. It’s better, according to Tecate, for men to just lie so they can go placidly about beer-farting on the couch while watching some sort of athletic contest and maintaing the fragile order of the universe.