Teen Girls Are Wearing Shapewear to 'Normalize' Their Bodies

Today in sadface, more and more teenage girls have taken to wearing shapewear underneath clothes on a daily basis, even wearing it beneath their athletic uniforms, because they “don’t want to stand out for the wrong reasons,” i.e. be seen as fat among their peers. In fact, one of the hottest teen trends (ranked between One Direction and sexting) are Spankies, brightly patterned spandex shorts that work much like Spanx, except, you know, they are not for boring old grandmas.

Some, like doctors and psychologists, worry about the effects that shapewear will have on teens’ mental and physical health (from all of the organ squeezing), but don’t worry because fired Real Housewife of New York Jill Zarin says it’s totally fine that girls are wearing these undergarments:

“Nobody wants to see anybody’s body parts rippling. It’s just not attractive… What I think shapewear does is that it normalizes the girls’ body figures and it evens everybody out.”

First, it’s important to note that Jill Zarin is currently hawking her own shapewear line Skweez, which is to say that she has a keen interest in ~~girls’ health~~ money. Secondly, “normalizes the girls’ body figures” is a nonsense phrase for idiots. Third, Zarin’s claim that shapewear is beneficial to teenagers because it makes them all the same (skinny) is a depressing sentiment that many people likely share, but few are oblivious enough to voice.

Spanx also weighed in on the issue, releasing this statement to Good Morning America:

“Our mission is to help women feel great about themselves and their potential… Regarding those medical issues for teens using [our] products, in twelve years of selling shapewear, we’ve never had this issue.”

Dare we dream to live in a world where Spanx’ reply would be that their product was meant for adult use only? DARE WE?