Close your eyes and imagine a perfect world. It's free of violence, free of heat waves. Children from all colors of the Crayola multicultural box gather together to play in beautiful meadows filled with flowers. Good deeds are congratulated by puppy-grams and whenever a young female celebrity uses Twitter, her tweet is read aloud by Nick Offerman for your enjoyment.
Now open them. Settle back into this heartbreaking reality. It's hot outside and there is no puppy-gram waiting for you. But, thanks to Conan and Mr. Ron Swanson himself, our imagined paradise is not as far off as we thought.