John McCain shimmied out of whatever chimney he's been practicing his Santa Claus routine in since losing the 2008 presidential election and tried really hard to reassure anyone who's wondering why he didn't pick Mitt Romney as a running mate that it definitely had nothing to do with any supposed irregularities on Romney's tax returns — Sarah Palin was just the better candidate. After the Senator clarified this point, the spine of every Romney strategist collapsed like Jenga games undermined by someone who only pulls from the bottom, like an asshole.
On Tuesday, McCain dismissed rumors wafting out of the Obama camp that Romney won't be releasing his tax returns beyond 2010 because they contain some hideous secret. Back in 2008, Romney's peeps gave McCain's peeps more than 20 years worth of Romney's tax returns, a fact that caused some pundits to wonder if the McCain team found some worms or centipedes crawling under all the mossy millions Romney made during his time at Bain. If Romney didn't have anything to hide, why didn't McCain pick him? It should be obvious — Sarah Palin, the almost-one-term Governor of Alaska, was a far more enticing option.
McCain insists that he and his team picked Plain "because we thought that Sarah Palin was the better candidate." He added that speculating on such a thing is silly because he could have literally picked from 10 possible running mates.
Why did we not take [Tim] Pawlenty, why did we not take any of the other 10 other people. Why didn't I? Because we had a better candidate, the same way with all the others. ... Come on, why? That's a stupid question.
He went on to say some stuff about how grateful he was that Sarah Palin helped him lose the 2008 election before concluding his interview with a lukewarm endorsement of Mittens, for whom McCain said he has "the highest respect." Not as much respect as he has for Sarah Palin, but pretty close, like number two in terms of respect. Basically, John McCain thinks Romney is good, but not as good as Sarah Palin, a thumbs-up I'm sure the Romney camp really appreciates.