In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, Paris Hilton is worried about camel toe, bottled water can make you bisexual, and Khloe Kardashian plays better with black balls.
1.) Camel toe.
If you haven't been watching The World According to Paris, you've been missing the really important things she's been saying.
2.) Bottled water causes bisexuality.
Jeremy Jackson used to be the little kid on Baywatch. Then he became a crazy meth head, cleaned up, and then became a crazy juice head. Now he's on Celebrity Rehab to address his steroid problem, but it's also clear, from the amount of crap and appliances that he packed, that he also has OCD. Even though he's on a cocktail of approximately 25 different steroid drugs, one of his biggest concerns is to stay away from bottled water because "research" shows that its minerals contributes to bisexuality. What "research" was he doing on mineral water? Watching Heathers?
3.) Black balls.
Khloe is the best Kardashian.
4.) More black balls.
Panther is the best stripper.
5.) Juicy Joe's vibrating cock ring.
6.) Teresa and Regis' awkward moment.
On Regis and Kelly this week, Teresa was talking about what it's like working with her family on a TV show and asked Regis if he had any siblings. He replied that they all died.
7.) Spanx for the memories, Mob Wives.
On this week's season finale the ladies, predictably, got into a physical altercation. The only difference this time is that it fully exposed Renee's shapewear.
8.) Benevolent sexism.
There is such a thing, according to Fox News.
9.) Piers Morgan asks the hard hitting questions.
Like: "Do you have a better ass than J. Lo?"
10.) When 8-year-old kids are smarter than their parents.