Today's Royal Wedding Headline Count: Eight New Stories

As we get closer and closer to April 29, the Day of Days, Royal Wedding Mania reaches a fever pitch. Each day brings more and more “news” about Prince William and Kate Middleton, even though neither of them have done anything new or noteworthy!

For instance: Today we have learned that Wills and Kate will travel to South America for their honeymoon. Sources claim that the newlyweds will do some kind of horseback riding trek, which seems like a good way to get blisters in places you don’t want to be chafed on your honeymoon. Then again, another piece claims the kids may travel to Jordan after the wedding. Apparently Kate spent a few years of her childhood in the Middle Eastern country, and the couple have allegedly booked a special tour of the archaeological site of Petra. Petra was built in the 6th century BC, and the BBC calls it one of “the 40 places you have to see before you die.”

A quick search reveals that one of the best places to stay in Jordan is Evason Ma’In, an oasis-type resort in a dramatic landscape with hot spring waterfalls. But since King Abdullah and Queen Rania are attending the festivities perhaps they’ll hook up the Prince and his bride with a private villa.

Meanwhile, the New York Times considers the two “queens-in-waiting” — Camilla and Catherine — and reporter John F. Burns appears to be Team Kate, writing:

Kate, glamorous and young – 29, five months older than Prince William – is seen by many in Britain, along with her future husband, as the potential savior of a monarchy whose luster has been deeply tarnished in the past 30 years.

On the other hand, professional misanthrope Christopher Hitchens seems worried about Kate Middleton, and offers this advice: Run. He calls the royal family “unexceptional people” who are “condemned to lead wholly artificial and strained existences, and then punished or humiliated when they crack up,” and monarchy a “hereditary disease that can only be cured by fresh outbreaks of itself.” Hitch says of Kate:

I wish her well and also wish I could whisper to her: If you really love him, honey, get him out of there, and yourself, too.

Not everyone is so riled up about the Royal Wedding. In fact, a Harris Poll of 2,379 adults finds that fewer than one in five U.S. adults say they are following the royal couple news closely. Also — and you won’t find this shocking — women are more likely than men to be interested in William and Princess PerfectHair, and folks 66 years and older are more likely than younger generations to both be following news of the engagement. It would be interesting to find who the age and sex of Frank841950, who paid $13,360 for William and Kate Pez dispensers. A true fan!

Whether you’re sick of these kids or not, know this: The projects keep on coming. Even though Lifetime has already produced a horrible movie based on the Royal Couple, The Hallmark Channel is working on another, and guess what? The star of the film, Alice St. Clair, is the daughter of Lord Loughborough, who happens to be in charge of Scotland Yard’s Royalty and Diplomatic Protection Group. Her dad does security for the royal family!

Anyway, if you are obsessed, like some of us, you’ll be glad to know that the Royal Wedding will be broadcast live on YouTube. Google Earth 3D will offer a “Royals’-eye” view of the entire wedding procession, so you won’t miss a thing. And by you, I mean we. The royal we.

Prince William And Kate Middleton To Have Secret Honeymoon! [Showbiz Spy]
William and Kate’s Honeymoon Locale: Jordan? [People]
In This Fairy Tale, Not One, but Two Queens in Waiting [New York Times]
Beware the In-Laws [Slate]
Many Americans, Particularly Women and Those Older, Have Opinions About the British Royal Family [Sacramento Bee]
Bidder snags William and Kate Pez for $13,000 [Reuters]
Securing Royal Role [The Daily]
The Royal Wedding Live On YouTube [Google]