Comment Of The Day: Lady Feelings Guide May Anger You (If You're Menstruating, That Is)

Today we learned that a study found people think anger is for dudes and sadness is for ladies. Emfish55 shared a bit of her own scientific research:

Everyone knows that Lady Anger is perceived as Crazy, not Sad. The Normative Theory of Gender Feelings goes like this:

Lady Feelings
Sad Ladies: Sad is the default emotion for any lady not actively performing her duties as good girlfriend, wife or mother. The best way for a Sad Lady to stop being sad is to get married or have a baby. Despite the obviously pathetic state of her life, a Sad Lady is of constant interest to the news media, publishing world, and Hollywood. Everybody loves a good “Sad Lady Gets Happy Via Love of a Good Man/Baby” story. This is why the world has Professional Sad Lady Jennifer Aniston.

Happy Ladies: These are the ideal ladies, not because it’s always nice to see someone happy (I mean sure), but mainly because a Happy Lady is a lady who has been squared away. Meaning she has all the things she needs (a man, a baby, hopefully a home to decorate and a little spending money for shoes, also known as Lady Prozac). Everyone wants the ladies to be happy, but once a Lady is Happy (meaning, married and with child), the culture has little interest or use for her, unless they need an example to show one of the Sad Ladies (“See? This is how to fix you!”)

Angry Ladies: Angry ladies are crazy. They’re probably just on their periods (that’s the main thing that makes ladies angry, right?). Sometimes a lady might be angry for another reason, like her failure to obtain a man or a baby and be Happy, but such ladies aren’t really angry. They’re just Sad Ladies in disguise. Also known as “feminists”.

Man Feelings
Sad Men: These men don’t really exist, but if they do, it’s probably because they are (1) Gay, (2) Recently wronged by an Angry Lady, or (3) Actually Women.

Happy Men: These are men who have everything they need, meaning they have a lady (or ladies) to have sex with them. Sex is the only thing men want or need, as science and beer commercials frequently remind us. For this reason, it’s very obvious that Charlie Sheen is a Happy Man while the Dalai Lama is a Sad Man. Happy Men are endlessly fascinating to the news media, publishing industry and Hollywood because a Happy Man is an ideal human being and everyone wants to know his secrets.

Angry Men: This is a man deprived of sex (that’s the only thing that makes men mad, right?). Sometimes an Angry Man occurs after a non-sex-deprivation event, like a job loss, but an evolutionary biologist will happily explain to you how being laid off is pretty much the same thing as being deprived of sex (since ladies will only have sex with men who have jobs, money, and nice cars).

As you’ve probably noticed, we’re changing the Comment of the Day format a bit. From now on we’ll only be highlighting one comment per day, so that user can claim all the bragging rights. We’d still like you to submit nominations to the Comment of the Day tag page. Just send the outstanding comment’s URL and tag your nomination #cotd. (Replying to a comment with “#cotd” does not work.)

Use #trollpatrol to report comments that you feel the editors/mods should be aware of. Try not to respond to/approve/promote trollish comments in the threads — instead, just post the comment on the #trollpatrol page, the same way you’d post a comment on #groupthink or on the #cotd page, and the editors/mods will take care of it.