Wheaton Terrier Elected President of Civic Association

If you thought democracy had jumped the shark with Gore vs. Harris, you were wrong. The election of George W. Bush to the American presidency was only a practice jump on the designated high powered motorcycle of America. Now that a dog has been elected president of a Maryland Civic association, consider that fish cleared and democracy officially a travesty. A travesty, I say!

Outgoing civic association president Mark Crawford had already served the maximum number of terms as the association’s president and no one in the neighborhood could be cajoled into filling the position he was about to vacate. When he doggedly hounded the board to extend those term limits so that he could keep serving his country and his neighbor’s lawns, they rebuffed him and he responded by secretly putting his terrier, Ms. Beatha Lee, on the ballot. Voting members hadn’t met Ms. Lee, but they were impressed with her qualifications and desire to help her community. According to the bio that the candidate provided, she enjoyed the outdoors and had experience managing an estate in Maine. Sold!

Members didn’t realize that something was amiss until they received their first neighborhood newsletter. Reports the Washington Post,

The news broke in the association’s newsletter with Lee’s promise to “govern with an even paw.” The dog’s photo appeared under the heading, “Dog Rules, Humans Apathetic (Pathetic).”

Rather than opting to Be Cool about it and laugh at themselves for falling for a joke, some residents opted to get really angry, but there’s nothing that can be done. Association bylaws don’t specify the president be a human, just that the president be an adult and a resident of the neighborhood. They’re stuck with a dog president, for now, and former association President Crawford is currently serving as Vice President, beneath the pooch.

The dog occasionally attends the monthly board meetings, usually held the first Tuesday or Wednesday of the month in Crawford’s home. “She’s sometimes sitting under the table, listening to what goes on,” Frederickson said. “Until she gets bored and wants to be let out. I don’t know if the board members need to pet her on their way in.”

We all smile and laugh now, but wait until you see her 2011 agenda that mandates tampon eating and mandates that all carpets be acceptable butt-scratching zones.