Brazil Fashion Week Showcases Perfect Job Interview Outfits

If you’re interviewing for a job at Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. In the 1980’s. As rendered by Edward Gorey on powerful uppers.

Be bold and confident, always willing to lend four hands rather than the usual two.

We’re modern women! Pants are no longer an office “must. However, we’re not living in some kind of crazy hedonist utopia. Make sure to keep your nipples covered demurely at all times, even if your boss describes herself as “laid back.”

Carry a cane with a hand at the end so that management knows that you’re into high fiving, but not if it decreases productivity. Hand canes also vastly reduce the possibility that you might spread germs to your coworkers. Make sure to point this out.

Employers do make passes at girls who wear clothes that look like glasses.

Always put your best foot forward and never carry firearms into the office. If you insist on including guns in your ensemble, make sure it’s just part of the fabric of your outfit.

When searching for employment, beware of accepting an offer from a company wherein the left hand of the management team doesn’t know what the right hands are doing.