British Soccer Commentators' Sexist Diatribe Caught On Tape

Yesterday two male announcers launched tag team on-air screed against female involvement in the English Premiere League. If it’s fair to assume that ladies don’t understand sports, is it also fair to assume men don’t understand microphones?

Of course, I’m being a little unfair here, as it’s not their fault. Andy Gray and Richard Keys‘s delicate masculine sensibilities were so offended by the sight of a 25-year old linesman Sian Massey before the match that they had no choice but to comment on her femaleness and question her competence. She shouldn’t have been prancing around on the sideline doing her job, all lady-ish and such. And of course the men were totally in the right to question her knowledge of soccer; in the sage words of Mr. Gray, “Women don’t know the offside rule.”

(It’s true. Women have two X chromosomes and ovaries and vaginas and do not know the offside rule. It’s science. In fact, doctors are currently developing a test to determine whether or not a fetus is male or female by asking it, very loudly, about the offside rule. In America, they plan on using the infield fly rule or the NFL’s onside kick rule.)

But they weren’t finished yet. The two TV personalities, who didn’t know that their mics were live, used the springboard of ladies and their ignorance w/r/t the offside rule to launch into a broader discussion about women in general, specifically about West Ham vice chairman Karren Brady, who just that morning had written a newspaper column declaring that sexism existed in sports and that she’d faced it. Can you imagine the nerve of that woman? Daring to suggest that sometimes women have it tough, especially in the world of sports. These are dark times we live in, indeed.

You can listen to sexist Statler and Waldorf of the EPL here, and in the meantime reflect on the irony of saying something extremely sexist (“Women don’t know the offside rule!”) and following it up by saying that women never face sexism as a result of their gender. God, it’s an audio René Magritte painting of bullshit. Ne c’est pas un dickhead.