Celebrity Serial Spouses Using Marriage to Seek Redemption?

Three-time groom Jesse James now wants to marry Kat Von D after dating her for seven months. Maybe after all these trips down the aisle, he’s realized how weddings help distract people from what a creep you’ve been.

And what a creep he’s been: Some of James’s 2010 highlights, you might remember, include a cheating scandal, a divorce from Sanda Bullock, and Nazi photos. Who wouldn’t want to put all that bad press and toxic drama behind them? With a new bride, James can promote the appearance of new beginnings and personal change. “I fell in love with my best friend,” he told People. Von D is “an amazing woman who stood behind me when the world turned their backs.”

Maybe James just couldn’t find sufficient post-divorce support after getting divorced from Bullock, and marriage is the next-best thing? He did seek help for his personal issues, but apparently didn’t get around to getting to the bottom of why he’s already been married and divorced three times in rapid succession (Karla James from 1991 to 2002, Janine Lindemulder from 2002-2004, and Bullock from 2005 to 2010). If he had come up with some answers to that question, it’s unlikely he’d want to be getting married so soon. He’d want to protect Kat and value her by taking things slow, so as not to rush the relationship. Not that she can’t think for herself, but Kat seems to have a bit of the serial relationship seeker in her as well. She may be James “best friend,” but as such—and as the woman in love with him—she’s not going to be very objective about how some of his issues played out.

For now, James is talking about how growing old with Kat is going to be a “fucking blast.” It’s going to work out this time! For real! “They say True love will always shine through. The only reason I started Twitter again? so I could publicly profess my love for @thekatvond,” James tweets. If starting your Twitter back up again isn’t evidence of true love, then what is?

As we all know, James isn’t the only celebrity serial groom in the news for getting married again. There’s also Kelsey Grammer, a fellow fourth timer-to-be, who just can’t wait to wed his new girl Kayte Walsh. They got engaged even though he’s still married, and now Grammer’s trying to get his current wife, Camille, to just hurry the fuck up and sign the divorce papers so he can have that ceremony and cake party. News about the celebrations can replace those headlines about Grammer’s cross-dressing, which may or may not make him uncomfortable—and can also help lessen the pain of Walsh’s miscarriage. And maybe any residual pain and public criticism he’s faced for his cheating and the failure of his current marriage.

It’s kind of sad to think that at one time, Camille was the “new girl” for Kelsey. “It was love at first sight,” Grammer, who’s struggled with addiction, has said. “I’ve been through my share of tough times … I’m a very different guy now … I was addicted to danger and dangerous girls, and it took me to things that were very destructive for me.” Walsh doesn’t seem to be very dangerous, but neither does Grammer seem to be very “different” from someone who’s drawn to things that are “destructive”—rushing into relationships impulsively being one of those things. But whatever, new beginnings! Better press! Maybe some pics of the reception in a glossy mag! The possibilities are endless.

Of course, we can’t be certain that this marriage-for-better-PR theory is guiding such serial relationship celebrities toward the altar, because they don’t email or call us anymore. But it’s indisputable that neutral-to-positive PR is certainly a lot more fun than being raked over the coals for your trangressions. In all the serial spouse cases we can think of—these, Charlie Sheen, Hugh Hefner, and even serial daters like Paris Hilton—the marriage or new relationship is very effective in softening the person’s image, or adding something approaching hope and normalcy to it. The sad part about it as that the serial relationship-seeker always seems to figure out some way to ruin the relationship—or the relationship eventually disintegrates, because it was only a quick fix to begin with.