Ambitious Naming A Sure Path To Stardom

Parents often name their children aspirationally, bestowing upon their offspring names that they hope will help their offspring succeed. The mother of Great Britain’s Destinee Superstar really brought out the big guns.

She’s ten now, which, if we’re talking in terms of Willow Smith, is nearly elderly, but Destinee Superstar’s mother believes she’s going to win it all.

Destinee’s mother, whose last name is shockingly not Superstar (perhaps Destinee took the last name of her father, a Mr. Superstar, who is second cousins once removed with that guy who just changed his name to Captain Awesome), believes that her little girl looked “just like Elvis” when she emerged from the womb, what with her infant sideburns and hip gyration and all of the screaming women who constantly followed her around. Now, it seems that Mme. Superstar is making herself a pop video.

Overwhelming stage momminess of this article aside, I hope that Destinee achieves at least a modicum of success, because with a name like Destinee Superstar, you’re destined to be either famous and awesome or ruthlessly mocked by peers with names like Jayden-Aiden Hunter Cooper.