In this week's compilation of pop culture crap, we meet Snooki's parents, see Ramona Singer's booger, and hear Bret Michaels fart.
1.) Snooki's parents
The Insider interviewed Snooki's parents, but never bothered to say what their names are. They were kinda rude about it, saying that they were "expecting something more Jersey." What the hell does that mean? Did they expect Bruce Springsteen and Teresa Giudice?
2.) Ramona's booger
I thought that the vows between Ramona and her husband on the season finale of Real Housewives were really sweet, but I was very distracted by her booger.
3.) Sexy 6-year-old
This little girl looks like she's practicing for Freaknik, not a child beauty pageant. How does her mother think that this isn't sexualizing a child? I'd like to see what this woman thinks is sexy.
4.) Shopping with Stephanie Pratt
This week on The Hills, Stephanie went shopping for a handbag, and decided on an orange-y brown one because she thought it would look good with a spray tan. Funny 'cause it's true.
5.) Dad Camp
VH1 has a new reality show called Dad Camp, in which a group of irresponsible men—whose girlfriends are pregnant—are given training and therapy to prepare for fatherhood. Tiffany, 19, got pregnant after known the guy [pictured here] for "2 or 3 weeks." And she decided to keep the baby. I mean come on! The writing isn't on the wall—it's on his fucking fingers.
6.) "It's kinda wack, to be honest."
T.J. Lavin is an opinionated robot.
This week, a litigant on Judge Judy was named Eastasia. Pronounced like the geographical location.
8.) Who farted?
This week, VH1 aired a special called Bret Michaels: Life as I Know It. Apparently, Bret had been filming a reality show about his life with his family right before he fell ill, and the network put together the footage that they'd managed to shoot before then to air this. The show will be a series set to air in the fall. Anyway, someone in this scene—either Bret or his daughter—farted, and they both try to blame it on one another.
9.) Oprah's smugness
I'll miss it when her show ends.
10.) Andy Cohen
I seriously love this guy. In my head, we are BFFs, particularly after he admitted that he intermittently shouts out "Turtle time!" and sings "Money Can't Buy You Class" when he's bored, or has nothing else to say. I say/sing these exact things to my dog all day long.