This week's multimedia compilation of pop culture crap features a toddler who wants Botox, a toddler who has giant muscles, a toddler who acts like Anna Nicole Smith, and more.
1.) Toddlers & Tiaras Is Back!
You know, the show that puts daughter-less mothers—who refuse to accept reality—on reality TV.
The premiere episode of the second season featured twins AshLynn and BreAnne, who are forced to compete against each other. The mom so obviously likes BreAnne better. It's totally Jacob Have I Loved. Usually BreAnne wins the crowns, but at this pageant, she threw a temper tantrum and her father wouldn't let her compete for the rest of the day, so AshLynn ended up winning. BreAnne won't accept this. One day, a therapist will get an earful from one or both of them.
3.) Hand Puppets
This little girl is so Anna Nicole. Not because she's from Texas.
And not because she's cranky and flashy.
And not because she doesn't always make sense.
And not because her good behavior at photo shoots is rewarded with trips to McDonalds. No, she mostly reminds me of Anna Nicole because she has a face full of makeup and acts like a four year old. Also, her two best friends are her mother's hands, which she believes to be people, and that's something I can see Anna Nicole subscribing to.
4.) The Insider So Totally Doesn't Get "Ethics"
But at least they're curious.
5.) World's Strongest Toddler: That Don't Impress Ah Me Much
TLC did a whole special on this kid and the best evidence of his "title" was him lifting his mom's wuss weights over his head. Big whoop. Wake me up when he can French braid his own hair.
6.) Teens, Need A Summer Job?
Teenagers 16 and up are allowed to strip in Rhode Island (as long as they're home before midnight).
7.) Joe Jackson: "I started Leonard's career in music promotion."
8.) This Isn't An SNL Skit
9.) Crazy Old German Lady Beats Up Librarian, Gets Away With It
This is from some kind of Cops format show. I could barely edit it down because it's too awesome, beginning to end. While I love the German lady's outbursts, I'm also into how upset the one librarian gets when it's implied that she couldn't find the U.N Charter. ("I didn't even get the chance to look!")
10.) That's So Lindsay