John Stamos, the still-smokin' star who just hosted the Comedy Central roast of Bob Saget, turns 45 today. In the words of roast participant Cloris Leachman, "I'm here to fuck John Stamos." And by "here" we mean "on earth." • More hotness! Here's Michael Phelps on the cover of Sports Illustrated, flashing his eight gold medals. • Dear TMZ, bodysnarking Kanye is so pathetic. Smooches! [Dlisted, Us, TMZ]