Rose petals are so fucking cliche.

Eskimo kisses...from a rose on the grave.

I still don't understand what that fucking song means. STILL!

@Lady Skittlehattington: I want my boyfriend to scatter the ground with dark chocolate peanut M&M's. And twenty dollar bills.

I'm ready for Britney to get her own show (sorry, another show). If Brett and Flav can do it, so can she.

wouldn't the candles melt the igloo!?

@ThePartyFoul: I just realized, Rock the Cradle, not Rock of Love. Oh well, she should still get a show.

The dude has the imagination to build an igloo but still tackies it up with rose petals and candles? C'mon, now!

@hortense: I'm requesting a romantic path of scattered cupcakes and cold bottles of beer.

@hortense: paaiaaa baba paiaiaaiaiaia paiaaaaaa

@Lady Skittlehattington: the igloo was also covered in red satin sheets and he had chocolate fondue and champagne prepared for the after-sex meal.

Britney was really there to support the hair.

And then she hit seal on the head with a club.

Isn't that what eskimos do to seals?

sorry but...did anyone get this month's issue of InStyle? Heidi and Seal have an article about their summer home. They look soo soo soo cute together, and they're so hot!! But LOL, none of their 3 kids were in any of the pics, nor where there any signs that children were living in that house. Oh well.

@Lady Skittlehattington:
Igloos, too. Geez, it's like he didn't even try.

@ThePartyFoul: Rock the Cradle of Love hosted by Billy Idol!

VH1 WHERES MY PAYCHECK??

@hortense: Now you're talking. Maybe some sour Jelly Bellys throw in for color.

I'd like an igloo scattered with pot leaves, nips of vodka, and brownie bites, thanks...

@Khrushchev: I don't know how you would scatter cupcakes, but I'm all for it. Mmmmm

@Meg: Uh, wrong show jackass.

@es-ki-mo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! You wicked, wicked es-ki-mo.

@hortense: I'm still hoping that my boyfriend will wheel up a dishwasher.

I wonder how Britney felt when Olivia Newton-John's daughter literally started crying when she found out the judge's picked "Toxic" for her to sing the week before. That's sort of a strong reaction but one I completely support.

@Khrushchev: Amen! cupcakes!

Everybody knows Seals don't go near igloos... they might get clubbed!

@hortense:
That's how I like the bed set for teh sexin'. Except we have to use change. I poo pennies for like, days on end, but it makes me feel rich, baby.

@es-ki-mo: Jinx... well maybe not.

... and then he dressed in her in a penguin costume and humped her for 45 minutes.

(Why yes, I have forwarded that story to everyone I know. Haven't you?)

Oh, igloos with candles and rose petals are so cliched. The Dude proposed to me over a urine-drenched EPT in the three minute window before it only gave one line, and then I told him "No take backs!"

Now that's class with a capital K.

Dude, please. It's Inuit kisses. They're in Canada. Even sweet-natured Canadians will get grumpy about the E-word.

Even though Inuit Kisses sounds fucking retarded.

@KathrynwithaY loves Joan Collins: "Scattered" was probably the wrong word. "Situated delicately for maximum deliciousness" would more accurately describe my vision.

@hortense: It means I'm in line at the supermarket....AGAIN.

Dammit, Heidi! Stop hounding me with your igloo proposal story. You also told it when you and Seal were on Oprah AND someplace else that I can't remember. If you're not careful you'll turn into the next Jada Pinkett-Smith.

@howdybeep (rear wheel drive): Awesome!

My guy proposed in his grad school office, ten minutes after the ring was dropped off by UPS, because he was afraid he would lose it.

If a guy sprinkled rose petals anywhere, and it wasn't a joke, I think I would have to break up with him.

@Meg: Still works! I think! Dollars to donuts there's someone on that with ridiculous hair cultivated from the plasticus horsey plant off the island of Scalpscabs.

@Khrushchev: Oh my god, can I be at your proposal too? I'll bring the bottle opener!

@howdybeep (rear wheel drive): I'm all fuklempt.

@ASmallTurnip: Furthermore, butterflies get fucking pissed if your eyelash movement is too moth-like. And don't even get me started on moth balls.

@ineffable.me: god now THAT is a reality show i would watch. vh1 needs to get on that pronto!

@ThePartyFoul: It could be called Spears of Love. And instead of clocks or backstage passes, she could give each of the guys pink wigs and at the end of each elimination, instead of drinking champagne or Bret Beer, they could all drink purple drank out of McDonald's cups.

@treecut: what if he was playing ill make love to you while proposing? HUH HUH?

The rose petals were because she reminded reminded him of a kiss from a rose...on the grey..(This is the first I've considered that I don't actually know what that means)

@Khrushchev: Yeah, that sounds better. If they were scattered, then the frosting might fall off or get mushed into the floor. And we can't have that.

Damnit. I really want a cupcake now. Or five cupcakes. Whatever.

@Lady Skittlehattington: Well, butterflies have crazy rage issues to begin with. I mean, how would you feel if everybody insisted that your basic flappy movement was responsible for all the hurricanes in the world? Pissed.

But I feel for the Inuits. Always the bridesmaid to the fucking Eskimos. Never the bride.

In my Igloo: Minervois, a tomato and mozzarella salad and sushi.

@ASmallTurnip: Especially considering their shitty life span. They come of age, they eat some stuff, they die.

@Lady Skittlehattington: That would be the butterflies. Inuits tend to live longer and like cold weather. Butterflies, not so much.

@hortense: How did I miss you comment on kiss from a rose? And I was so pleased with myself!

@Lady Skittlehattington: I think that's a despicable characterisation of the life of an Inuit person. They do other stuff, too. Like club sweet baby seals. Shame on you.

@Lady Skittlehattington: Wait. I'm confused.

What were we talking about, again?

@theruraljuror: I hereby invite every Jezebel to my cupcakes-and-beer proposal. BYOCAB, though, I'm poor.

Ethkimo kisthes. Say it with a lisp! It's ZOMG even cuter!

I've watched a couple of episodes of Rock the Cradle. I though Crosby Loggins (Kenny's son) could be good as a touring musician, and Chloe Lattanzi (Olivia Newton-John's daughter) reminded me of Kate Bush somehow.

When I was two or three, Dee Snider came into the pediatrician's office while I was there with my mom. I don't remember it, but my mom noticed him (hard to miss), though not knowing who he was. After he left, the receptionist said "That was the guy from Twisted Sister." This was back in the mid-80's, Long Island.

@hortense: Neither do I. As a preteen I used to do a ballet-like dance in my room whenever I heard that song, and would would sing along in a mumble like "Baby, liken it to a kiss on the rose from a grave, ooh, the more stranger I feel yeah. Now that your roses are in bloom, a light hits the moon on the grave." Yeah, I don't know either.

On Anthony Bourdain's show, he went to Alaska to an Inuit community, where the family spread out a plastic tarp on the kitchen floor, placed a newly killed walrus on it, and cut it open to eat the fresh hot meat (though maybe it was prepared before). It looked like a happy family moment to me.

@ASmallTurnip: So hard to say.

Actually -- and hortense will probably take away my commenting priv-a-leg-es for admitting this -- there was no proposal.

::hangs head::

But hey, it'll be eight years of "I can't believe you couldn't be bothered to actually pop a question!" next Friday!

@hortense: It means she's his wonderwall.

Sigh.

Hubs proposed to me outside in October after dinner, which was very sweet and romantic and I cried, and when he kissed me, my nose was running like a faucet, which was neither sweet nor romantic.

Thanks, Seal, for perpetuating the myth that Canadians live in Igloos. It was effing Whistler. There's a Four Seasons. And a Hilton.