No Jessica, that is not a charming story. I want to know about the girl. As in really? You went into the woods with some random kid and effed him?

Self esteem, I can haz some?

If I was with a chick as hot as Gisele I would be up at dawn making her delicious strawberry waffles and performing oral sex on demand.

Hahaha sorry. I do think it's funny that Tom Brady is being made fun of. Anyone that pisses their baby mama off so bad that she doesn't want him to see the baby after he's born has got to have something wrong wif him.

I just wish TMZ had used a term that was actually derogatory, instead of wife.

Like "douchebag".

[i79.photobucket.com]

a little friend named bjork wanted to pop in and say hello, I promise she's not trying to thread jack!

I think I will begin wearing flowy tops to my family functions to piss off my aunts who think its blasphemy that I am not married nor am I a mother.

For the millionth time I am thankful that I am not one of the Moore-Willis girls.

Yet another reason for me to rethink all my clothes. Anyone know where to buy non-flowy tops these days? They must also be comfortable, machine washable and non-slutty.

In NYC, the paps yell "bitchboy!" at Tom Brady because all he does is run to the store and the floral shop for Giselle.

God, doesn't Faith know that you absolutely can not wear anything not skintight if you aren't pregnant? Thems the rules babe, learn 'em and love 'em.

@stacyinbean: WHAT THE HECK! the picture showed up when I previewed it, why do I suck?!

@dirtybee: I think I'll begin wearing flowy tops to my boyfriend's family functions, because when he's fielding the inquiries, that's just good comedy.

i don't understand why athletes get so much flack for dating actresses and models. really??? it is not the girlfriend's fault if he starts sucking at his game.

@BlondeGrlz: no such thing. didnt you know that all American women are nearly flat-chested and waifish?

@pinkyBella: He doesn't suck at his game b/c of her, he sucks at life b/c of her. At least that's how I see it...

@hugnkiss: Yeah - the real fun begins when you start taking shots!

@dirtybee: That is such a good idea! I have stopped drinking alcohol--b/c of a stomach ulcer--and when I turned down both wine and vodka at the most recent family dinner my aunts kept asking me if "there's something you need to tell us?" I was wearing jeans and a tight t-shirt at the time, so if I combined the not-drinking with a flowy outfit, they might never recover.

@hugnkiss: Be sure to make a big show about how you're not drinking alcohol either. I cut it out for a few weeks because I'm about to run a marathon, and friends immediately asked if I was pregnant.

@stacyinbean: Heh. Bjork is covered in tribbles. That's awesome.

TMZ is pretty much the scum of the earth. theyre amoebas on fleas on dirty dogs.
what else can you expect?

@stacyinbean: Thanks for that!

Ooh, Tom Brady is "whipped" - by a SUPERMODEL. And I'm 100% certain that those poking fun aren't jealous. Nope, not at all. Right?

@BowlingForDollars: Well when you keep mum when all your bonehead fans call her a gold-digging cradle-robbing skank, you aren't going to charm her.

How about Gisele's cabana boy?

UGHHH I hate when people tell me "Oh, your boyfriend is SO WHIPPED!" or "You've got him wrapped around your pinkie finger!"
Um... just because he treats me with respect and is polite and opens doors for me does NOT mean he is whipped.
Next time I'll be like "Oh, your boyfriend is SUCH A DOUCHE!"

Faith Hill: Photoshop victim - no. Fashion victim -- well, homicide is on its way.

@pinkyBella: @Hamsterpants: @BowlingForDollars: It never ceases to amaze me that anything more respectful than making your wife give you a BJ while dusting in front of your friends and their camcorders makes you whipped or a bitch. My husband (then boyfriend) once asked me if I wanted a drink while he was at the cooler (I believe he addressed me as 'sweetie') and his friends immediately started ribbing him and calling him pussywhipped.

... fortunately, his friends got less stupid as time went on and I love them now. I think it's genetic--assholery is the human default setting.

@stacyinbean: Thank you! That was most excellent.

@zivah: Of course not -- why should they be jealous of a guy with three Super Bowl rings who makes millions and dates a supermodel?

@misssgolightly: exactly, it's as if men are not allowed to be caring and considerate or they're labeled whipped. well no, actually, my boyfriend is just such a great person, he shows respect and is a gentleman, not whipped!

@misssgolightly: Exactly when did showing a woman courtesy and kindness become "whipped?" I know some women are a little put off by the thought of a guy holding open a door, etc., but I'm still going to do it anyway. I'd do it for anyone, not just my wife.

@BlondeGrlz: Overheard at Target: "Excuse me, Miss, where do I find your non-slutty clothes?"

@BeckySharper: I love how the whole "No thanks I'm not drinking" = YOU'RE KNOCKED UP!

Every guy I know who calls his married/involved buddy "whipped" is desperately single.

I had to school my boys on the whole, "would you rather he treated her like shit?" philosophy. I don't know if they stop the teasing, but they don't do it around me.

@misssgolightly: @pinkyBella: Totally. The implication is that we have to use our scary, powerful vaginas to make them behave like decent human beings? WTF? (Also, I bet Gisele makes more money than Tom. Think that will be an issue? I'm guessing the haters don't let Mr. 18-1 forget about that either.)

Ugh, teens and woods sex. Groooooooss.

@Philthyist says bitter is the new black: They were probably drinking in the woods and some people paired off to go have sex nearby, real casual-like.

@AthertonMerriweather: I wonder if he pronounces her name Juh-sell or Juh-selly (as is the proper pronounciation)?

Okay, TMZ, which is worse: to be "whipped" by a supermodel and have sex with her all the time, or to get your ass dumped by a supermodel because you're a selfish asshole?

Yeah, that's what I thought. Shut it.

@dirtybee: I considered telling them I'd converted to Islam just in time for Passover.

Anytime I wear an empire (emPEER) waisted dress or top, I get minimum 10 questions as to the state of my reproductive system.
So now, I just say that I've gained a few pounds and then frantically ask if it's really that noticeable. And then I cry.
Coworkers now avoid me on the days I wear those sorts of clothes, which is a nice benefit.

@NefariousNewt: Back when I was fun and single, I shopped at this store I called "the whore store". The other day I was trying to remember the actual name of it, and my friends managed to name twelve possible stores before coming up with the one I was talking about. I weep for our children.

@MsDirector: He probably does it to spare her from the charming things they probably yell at her.

According to something Brittany Murphy insinuated long ago on Letterman, there may have been another reason for Ashton's "performance".

@beatrice3000: well perhaps, but I still find it upsetting.

damn my morals.

@Magister: good on her. I have some respect for her dizzyness now- that was sharp!

Can't a girl wear a loose, flowy top because she's bloated?

@PinkSoxHat: I know that will be the way everybody will find out when I get pregnant. My coworkers will know before my own mother because they'll notice my lack of happy hour participation.

@BeckySharper: "Yes, auntie! Booze doesn't go with antibiotics! Blame it on Fleet Week!"

@DoNotStalk: Ha, I'm wearing an empire waist dress today, and on my way to get coffee I had THREE people tell me I looked beautiful. I was so confused. Then I realized...they think I'm pregnant.

@Philthyist says bitter is the new black: Is there some reason you're concerned about the girl's self-esteem but not Ashton Kutcher's? Sounds suspiciously like a very old double standard.

@jessicarabbit: His self-esteem? Um, as I recall most teenage boys- getting to have sex was an achievement and a boost to his self-esteem. Sorry, but I wonder about a girl being willing to go off into the woods with a strange boy.

@JessicaLovejoy: Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, ACK!: OMG, that would be fabulous! (when is Fleet Week?)

well they photoshoped fugly all over that top.