Mississippi To Ban Fat People From Eating In Public!?

The Mississippi State House is proposing a law that would ban restaurants from serving people with a BMI higher than 30. On one hand, of course, you could say that’s no worse than laws preventing bartenders from serving another shot of whiskey to that guy who just chipped a tooth falling off his stool. On the other hand, of course, an obese person is not going to use the opportunity afforded by an unnecessary plate of chicken and dumplings to pinch the ass of the waitress, puke in the bathroom sink, take a piss next to your dumpster and ram into an oncoming car on the way home, so there’s really not much of a comparison. More seriously though, would it work? Wouldn’t the nation’s fat people, faces hot with the shame of being weighed publicly on a scale outside the Outback Steakhouse, simply drive straight to the nearest convenience store and pick up a few pints of Karamel Sutra to cool off? Aren’t our seriously fat citizens too poor to indulge in that much Panera bread anyway? Moreover, did Rep. W.T. Mayhall not hear? Americans are officially no longer the fats of the world. Just like with that whole economy racket, we’re being surpassed by the Euros!

And Finland, Germany, Greece, Cyprus, the Czech Republic, Slovakia and Malta all have a higher proportion of overweight adults than the United States, according to a report by the International Obesity Task Force in 2005.

Seriously, WTF, Greece and Cyprus? So much for the Mediterranean diet! If you manage to get fat off olives and red wine, do you have any idea how fat you’d be if you were born in the land of the deep-fried Oreo???

Anyway, suffice it to say that no one expects the bill to pass, but you can’t fault them for trying to combat obesity, which could result in mass foot amputations remember, in new and innovative ways. And obesity is not the only terrible societal ill they are targeting!

Many bills are likely to fall to the wayside, such as HB 282, which discourages restaurants from serving certain kinds of food to obese people, and HB 291, which authorizes castration as part of a sentence for a rape conviction.

I fucking love this country.

No Fat People Allowed: Only The Slim Will Be Allowed To Dine In Public! [JunkFoodScience]